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My story (long)

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • May 19, 2017 at 8:51 pm #150041
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear shawn995:

    I will read and reply to your thread in about ten hours. (and maybe another member will answer before then).

    anita

    May 20, 2017 at 5:41 am #150051
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Shawn995,

    It seems to me that life was best (not good, but best out of the bad) when you were away from home living with your girlfriend after you finished school. Is there a chance you can move back out? It doesn’t even have to be with the girl, it can be at a friend’s house for a while. The anxiety stemmed, I think, from your home life, from that “What am I going to do?” thoughts that were in the air from your mom and grandma over the years.

    Best,

    Inky

    May 20, 2017 at 8:53 am #150071
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shawn995:

    You wrote that you shared here, on this thread so that you “imay get atleast a little perspective in my life”- I will offer you a different perspective on two items, for your consideration and evaluation:

    You shared that you argued a lot with your mother when you were a kid. You wrote: “i was really hard to deal with id at home”-

    a different perspective: your mother was the one hard to deal with at home. She was the problem.

    You wrote that in school, while you suffered from significant anxiety and depression, you “tried not to show it when im at school i always laughed, made jokes just, everyone liked me”. About your present life, you wrote: “everybody in my circle of friends know their jobs well and they enjoy their lifes, they enjoy afterwork beer, they enjoy sunny days, music, everything.” –

    a different perspective: everybody may be trying not to show their anxiety and depression, just like you did. They may not be having the great lives you think they do. Just like people believed you were happy while you were not.

    And now my comments: living away from home was the right choice for you. It wasn’t perfect, far from it, I understand, but it was the way better choice than living at home, with your mother. And so, you are experiencing a worsening in your well being. There is no substitute to what you need to do next, I believe, and that is to move away from your mother/ grandmother’s home, never to return to their home.

    Healing/ getting better, I believe, is not possible in that home because it is in that home where the anxiety and depression originated and maintained.

    Post again anytime and take best care of yourself.

    anita

    May 20, 2017 at 11:48 am #150109
    Jahrin
    Participant

    Hi Shawn,

    Out of the various people’s stories I have read, you seem to be the one that is gifted. Going by your ability to do well in school without much effort and progressing to move out finish college and get a decent job are all things that other poeple wished they had. The issue here seems to be that the relationship between you and your mother isn’t great and it is possible that her problems with motivation and self belief have, possibly over years, impacted your motivation. Despite the fact that you have strong reasons to be progressing, as you’re very able, your main authority figure, in the absence of your father, is devaluing you, could it be that over the years this has had the adverse efffect and depression you feel? What you must remember is that she suffers from loss and possible regret and that being compassionate towards her and her suffering can bring about peace to your mind.

    You need to motivate yourself to move forward, find happiness and try and reignite the light you have within. Also remember that everything in life is impermanent and that nothing lasts forever including your problems. If you think you’re talentless or depressed, just look on this forum and know that what your experiences can teach you can also help other people in worse circumstances.

    If someone doesn’t appreciate your worth, it doesn’t mean your worthis any less valuable.

    Peace to you.

    Jahrin

    May 23, 2017 at 3:02 am #150354
    Shawn995
    Participant

    First of all thank you all for taking your time to read this post and for giving me your opinions therefore giving me better perspective and outlook on my life . I felt instant relief after reading your answers and giving myself time to think about it differently…since i cant really move back yet , im planning to take the time for myself while im home, and when i dont have any obligations, im reading, training,  thinking, and doing as much as i can to gain a better perspective on myself, my worth, my values, to find what i enjoy in life, to hopefully find my interests and to pursue them, aswell as learning to enjoy the present moment, since all this thinking, moved my focus in different directions, its been a really long time since i really was focused and enjoyed the moment…and again, thank you for taking your time to read and reply, it really meant it to me.

     

    May 23, 2017 at 7:47 am #150374
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Shawn995. Post again anytime.

    anita

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