fbpx
Menu

My relationship was almost over because I didn't follow my dreams.

Home→Forums→Relationships→My relationship was almost over because I didn't follow my dreams.

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • August 7, 2019 at 7:48 am #306997
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Ella,

    So here is the burning question: WHAT IS YOUR DREAM?? Is it writing a book? Completing a marathon? Getting a lucrative job? We can perhaps help if we knew the specifics.

    Sometimes dreams are like candy. Nice to have. Some dreams are meant to be just that. Dreams. But I don’t like this constant pressure that you have to be some sort of hero and HAVE to realize them.

    Is it more that you’re unemployed and have depression? Get out of the house every day! Preferably be out when he gets home from school or work. Or preferably to a clean house with something cooking in the kitchen (I’m old school). OR at least run out the door to an event, friend, or class. He will see you’re busy and happy. That should calm things down by a lot.

    Best,

    Inky

    August 7, 2019 at 10:35 am #307025
    Ella
    Participant

    My dream is to become an actor, it is something I love to do and dreamt of almost every night during 10 years but never really had the courage to start (I hated my looks, I really hated myself before), now I have courage and confidence BUT Iam way to lazy to do anything which eventually would make me go back to where I were.

    Yea the pressure is not nice, but it is for my own sake and for my own future, if I don’t do anything with my life I won’t get there where I want, I think I really needed that push from someone.

    My depression is actully “cured”, I took my last medicine in Mars and have been fine since then.

    I do household chores once a week, I try to focus on pshycology and all that self-healing stuff to continue not being depressed. I nowadays take acting classes every evening and then take the rest of the evening off. I take care of my own food, try to exercise and have a social life, I’am rebuilding my life. Only that makes him calm and happy, but I still want to be able to help him go back on track, the way he helped and encouraged me to do. I want to affect him positive the way he affected me.

    August 7, 2019 at 11:09 am #307035
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ella:

    It reads like for a long time while in this relationship you were depressed, then trying to change, you don’t feel depressed anymore but you feel anxious instead (“I have never been anxious around him before, it all just started that week”).

    The depression made it possible for you to not feel anxious, but once you started to feel better, hopeful, motivated to do things (“I feel more alive, and more happier than ever before”), the fear/ anxiety that was dormant while you were depressed, awakened when you felt alive and happy.

    It is difficult to deal with anxiety, but you are not the only one who  is anxious. Most people are and so  is your boyfriend. What you can do is try to not burden him with your anxiety by not asking him if he still wants to be with you and other questions of this kind. You can tell him, calmly, that you are anxious but reasonably control the expressions of your anxiety, so that he can be as calm as he can be.

    He needs you calm and okay so that he can be calm and okay. And you need him to be calm and okay, so help each other be those things.

    anita

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.