It sounds like you genuinely like him as a person ~ can you ~ for now ~ live as roommates so your DD has a stable(ish) home?

Get back to work ~ it will be a good distraction.

Think of the recommitment ceremony as one big dinner for the guests. Or, don’t go through with the Recommitment Part at all. You aren’t the first bride to ditch the wedding at the last minute and you won’t be the last. And you are, technically married, so..

He is so good at living parallel lives. I know how heartbreaking it is. I had some of this myself in college. (Now he is, of course, “straight”, but I wonder if his GF knows about his old GFs AND BFs!!! I’m not saying anything….) I do not doubt there is fondness and deep affection. But, he was using you for a Normal Life.

The Family Part isn’t a lie. At least he gave you a wonderful child!!

Hold onto the Good.

Well, here’s the thing. For $$, unless you’re a millionaire, only count on or budget for the $$ you’re bringing in. If there’s any $$ he brings in or left over, think of that as a happy extra. But don’t count on it.

He (my opinion only) should/could live there. But, obviously, sex is out for health and emotional reasons. Forget checking up on him. What else do you need to know??

When your DD’s older, yes, get a divorce, start over. While you’re both at home, he can be an extra hand with childcare/chores. But I wouldn’t have him take her out alone for a long weekend or anything! (who knows who he’d meet?)

Meanwhile, you need TIME for the dust to settle.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Inky.