Home→Forums→Relationships→My heart hurts.
- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 7 months ago by
Inky.
-
AuthorPosts
-
September 22, 2015 at 1:23 pm #83855
Anonymous
GuestDear toddinrochester:
“Beth” I suppose didn’t own her voices. I just re-read your other post, how at one moment, you took your power away from the voices, how you OWNED them. And over time, after that, you took your power back from those voices again and again, grounding yourself as the owner of all parts of your psyche.
Beth, without psychosis on the extreme part of the continuum, probably have voices, one saying: “I want to marry you and have your babies.” Another saying, maybe: “I want to get away from you and never see you again”- I am only guessing about the latter: I am not in her head… and neither are you. But she felt comfortable telling you about the wanting to marry you but probably uncomfortable reporting to you the other things. It probably occurred to her: I don’t want to marry him”- but she didn’t want to tell you. And so she went on the dating thing and said things to you where truth and lies mixed.
It may not be “Then one day. Court happens..” Just like you, toddinrochester, held a job and people didn’t know about the voices in your head, so did she tell you only of some of her voices some of the time. You are trying to connect the dots with the info you have.
This is where honesty comes handy, asking honestly and answering honestly- takes away from the guessing game and the many incorrect connecting the dots. She may be running around confused herself with her voices, giving in to one at one time and to another at another time. In any case, she is not well.
Take care of yourself and I hope the next woman you do get involved with owns her voices like you own yours and that you are both honest and transparent with each other.
anita
September 23, 2015 at 5:46 am #83913Inky
ParticipantHi toddinrochester,
TBH, this girl sounds like a hot mess. I’m not being judge-y. She really is a hot mess.
I think she’s right, she SHOULDN’T be in a relationship right now. Seeing her abusive ex MAJORLY triggered her. She flew off the handle, wailing, moving out, breaking up, and simultaneously being on dating sites.
Todd, I would leave this one alone. If I were your shrink I would say the attraction is in your common broken places. But what do I know?
Be her friend from a distance,
Inky
September 23, 2015 at 11:59 am #83934Todd
ParticipantInky, could you explain a little more? I get the feeling you are onto something but I just need more.
September 23, 2015 at 12:30 pm #83938Jodi
ParticipantI agree with Inky that this girl is NOT ready for a relationship. She was telling you and showing you all along and it sounds like in hindsight you can see that. Good for you! Your best bet is probably to move forward and find someone who is ready for a relationship and let go of this one as lovingly as you can. She is still working through her baggage and has not done the work you have to get over her past. Focus on finding someone who has done the work. Best of luck!
~Jodi
September 24, 2015 at 4:56 am #84006Inky
ParticipantHi Again,
Well, write a list on what you both have in common. Then write a list on why you fell for her. That should give you great insight. We are attracted to what we resonate with. That’s what I mean.
On another note, her Ex really did a number on her, causing or exacerbating her issues and reactions.
This is too much for you. Don’t even go there.
-
AuthorPosts