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My friend and colleague has become very annoying

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  • #309845
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Dan:

    This man you refer to as a friend, well he is not a friend. A friend doesn’t put a friend down, be it directly or in an indirect “funny” way that is not funny at all, definitely not to the person being put down.

    The term “a hole” came to my mind before you verbalized it yourself.

    Again, a person does not need to be put down. You talked about a business idea you had in mind- nothing abusive to anyone, or immoral or illegal, I figure- so, if he didn’t have anything positive to say, he shouldn’t have said anything at all.

    You wrote:  “to anyone else, it’s just him being him”. To me, “him being him” is not an excuse for him to put other people down, to use others for his stupid jokes. So I would tell him in front of everyone: (Name)- you are an a-hole. You are not funny. So when you joke, keep me out of your stupid jokes!

    anita

     

    #309855
    Mark
    Participant

    Dan,

    It is one thing to “joke” and another thing is to undermine your ideas, etc. related to your work.  Those things should be separate.  Be direct about letting him know that you boundary is for him not to comment on your work.

    His behavior is because he is insecure.  I am not sure if you can use that to your advantage by making him an ally and letting him know that you want to support him but regardless you need to set hard boundaries with him and let him know that such behavior is unacceptable when it comes to work.

    Mark

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