Dear Georgia:

“I look forward to the day where we get our freedom back. Physical freedom and mental freedom from fear”- I have noticed early in the pandemic that as we all faced a new danger, a new real-and-present danger, most of us humans, if not all, were far from being free from fear before the pandemic. So many of us were prisoners of fear while free to be in big crowds, while not having Covid-19 to worry about.

“I’m tired of hearing about death all the time”- this is what the pandemic brought to our attention, death. Although death has always been a daily reality everywhere in the world, people dying from multiple causes. It’s just that the numbers were not brought to our attention every single day, multiple times per day.

“I struggle to make long term visions and dreams because globally it all look so dark and menacing: pandemics, revolts, climate changes, conspiracy theories”- and before the pandemic, and before the pandemic combined with climate changes disasters like the recent fires and hurricanes, and the civil unrest and dangerous, anti-science politics in some parts of the world- so many people struggled to make long term visions and dreams plans because .. personally and individually, it all looked so dark and menacing.

“I think the best way to handle it all is just to let it go, and whatever will have to happen, will happen”- you mean no more social distancing, no masks… that would mean more sickness, more suffering, more death than otherwise. Not a good idea, Georgia. What you expressed here is what is called “pandemic fatigue”.

connect. ucla health. org, 7 steps to reduce pandemic fatigue, reads: “Wrestling with intense emotions day after day drain your energy, causing pandemic fatigue. The fatigue can stem from a number of emotions you’ve experienced during the pandemic, including: fear, anxiety, loneliness, hopelessness… Take these steps to renew your energy and feel more in control:

#1. Take care of your body.. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep (at least seven hours a night) and maintaining a nutritious diet.. exercising every day is important too. Doing these things will boost your energy, lift your mood and strengthen your immune system.

#2. Limit your news intake: .. too much news can overload you with negative emotions and zap your energy. Take a break from the news for a day or two and see if you feel better… And be sure to choose an accurate source of information.

#3: Lower your stress: Focusing on activities that are calming or bring you joy can lower your stress level… Activities to consider include: breathing exercises, yoga, nature walks, reading, watching comedy.

#4: Connect with others: Humans are social creatures by nature… Make phone calls, arrange video meetings, chat on social media..

#5: Accept your feelings: .. acknowledge and name your feelings. Allow yourself to have them. Then refocus your mind and energy on things you can do to feel better. If your feelings are overwhelming or all-consuming- and getting in the way of your daily activities- reach out to a health care provider. Protecting your emotional health is just as important as caring for yourself physically.

#6: Try positive self-talk: .. Try catching those negative thoughts and replacing them with more realistic statements. For example, replace thoughts about acquiring Covid-19 with what you’re doing to stay safe.

#7: Create new traditions:.. For instance, you might set aside Sunday nights for self-care… focus on a hobby such as playing guitar or scrapbooking.. To socialize, you might make Friday your family movie night or picnic in the back yard every Saturday.. Be creative and come up with ideas that work best for you.”

“On a personal level, I still struggle with certain coping mechanisms and turmoil but I accept it all way more.. I am enough and I have the intention to stay on this course and no longer abandon myself, or let myself in situations that kill me internally”- yes, do accept yourself with compassion, best you can, including certain coping mechanisms, like OCD. Do not abandon myself, do not let situations kill you internally or externally, best you can.

anita

Dear Georgia:

“I can’t enjoy food because I fear from phobia of swallowing and choking”- I looked it up even though I know that you can google yourself, and that you probably know the following, because I don’t think it can hurt you, and because it helps me understand your struggles better:

According to a website, very well mind. com, the  name of this particular phobia is phagophobia. Coping strategies “generally focus on remaining calm. Some people find that watching TV or listening to music while eating provides a welcome distraction that makes chewing and swallowing a less intense experience. Some find that taking a sip of liquid with each bite eases the swallowing process, while others avoid foods that they find scratchy or hard. Finding your comfort zone is often a matter of trial and error.. Find a therapist who will work with you to develop a treatment plan that addresses your phagophobia and any related disorders…

“One 25-year-old woman, whose initial episode lasted one year, began to manifest phagophobia symptoms whenever she was under stress or had difficulty solving a problem. A treatment plan was devised for her in which she was gradually exposed to various triggering situations. Cognitive therapy was also employed along training to teach coping skills. After 20 sessions of therapy, she has been without symptoms for more than a year without relapse”-

-This is encouraging to read. Also, notice that not all distractions are unhealthy (you mentioned “food, alcohol, vanity, daydreams” as distractions that harmed you, and that you are understandably avoiding). I remember my therapist at the time, a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, taught me “healthy distractions”- distractions that in certain contexts are helpful (what I italicized in the quote from the website, above).

I understand what you meant by “letting it go”, I too believe in masks and in science, and wish everyone believed in science- nothing more reliable than science.

I like how you put it: “I try to limit my news intake.. without allowing others to instill psychological terrorism in my mind”- psychological terrorism that includes, in my mind, conspiracy theories that deny and (unhealthily) distract from such realities as the pandemic, climate change, racism and political corruption.

anita

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by .

Dear Georgia:

Good to read that you have a psychiatrist and a therapist, I hope the two communicate well with each other, as well as with you, of course. When you mentioned “the roots of my anxiety”, what came to my mind was the concept of the Magnifying Glass, remember?

Also, good to read that there is “someone else soothing” present near you. I hope that this someone soothes you consistently and is mindful about containing her distress so to not add to/ magnify yours.

anita

Dear Georgia:

I lost electricity and internet most of the today, so I wasn’t able to reply to you. I want to reply when I am rested, Fri morning (which in my time zone, it is in about 15 hours from now). I did read your post earlier before losing internet, and it occurred to me to ask you regarding the Magnifying Glass Principle, specifically about your mother expressing her emotions in exaggerated ways- was anger in there, in the mix of her exaggerated emotion that she expressed?

I will be back to your thread Fri morning, my time.

anita

Dear Georgia:

I was interested, when I asked, about whether your mother expressed anger while you were growing up with her, as a child and a teenager, and onwards, perhaps.

anita