My coworker led me on and I'm hurting inside my office everyday

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This topic has 18 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by Mega Man.

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May 25, 2015 at 5:05 am #77203

Inky
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Hi again, hopelesslycharmed,

If your company has a PR person, talk to them. Maybe someone higher up, even your boss, could pull the girl aside and say, “It’s hurting company moral to wear/flaunt articles of clothing like that. There have been some complaints. Please keep company relationships discreet.” Or whatever it is they say. A little bit of higher up shaming/warning/direction might do it. They are getting off on teasing you, and feel like they can get away with it. But if they are sternly-yet-gently talked to that “Hey guys, what you’re doing is kind of obvious, please cut it out” ~ that might give you some relief.

You could as a last resort, pull each of them aside INDIVIDUALLY (thus reducing their power by half in each interaction) and say, “What you’re doing is really tacky, please knock it off.”

It may not feel like it, but your boss is more interested in keeping YOU happy than in a work-couple’s happiness. That’s why, in SOME/MOST companies, they have rules about this. Otherwise, everyone will be living in a high-school environment. No company wants that.

Good Luck,

Inky

May 25, 2015 at 8:30 pm #77248

Mega Man
Participant

Hi Inky,

Noticed that you’re one of the active contributors to this forum and I really admire you for that.

About that, I most likely wouldn’t do that since it would be obvious that it came from me and I don’t wanna put more barriers/gaps between me and my officemates.

I’m finding it hard to work since I felt like I was thrown away and all, but I keep on reading and keeping in touch with my spiritual self. These tangible things around me (their pictures on Facebook, the small gifts the guy gives her that she shares with everyone except me, her presence, etc.) and the intangible things (the approval of everyone with regard to their relationship, how I heard that I was not a better option than my friend according to her friends, etc.).

I don’t know if these emotions/what I’m feeling right now are a sign of a lack of manliness and it’s starting to piss me off…but I do and honestly want to get better each day.

Thanks again Inky!

May 26, 2015 at 11:23 am #77314

Christopher.m
Participant

Hey brother I’m gonna offer the opposite advice… Ignore the teasing, the drama, your coworkers will just feed on that.. That is exactly what they want!!…. Do absolutely nothing and it will rain on their parade. They will be so disappointed that you don’t give a shit.. You’re on to new things and have moved on from that.

The most powerful thing you can do in a lot in situations is nothing… Even better, say “you guys look happy, I sure hope it works out” and smile. That will literally ruin their day.

I’m glad you’re working out and taking steps to better yourself. The next step is to ask a cute girl.for her phone number and forget about these 2 immature peeps…

May 31, 2015 at 5:55 pm #77540

Mega Man
Participant

Hey Christopher.m,

Great to hear from you again! I recently took a 4-day vacation out of town and it sorta helped me heal.

The pain/humiliation still lingers as I walked through the door of my office this morning especially since I just found out that we’ll be working together for a project. As direct partners.

I probably have the strength to take on what other people say now, but I just hope that the quality of work does not overlap with my issues with her. I am getting anxious since my boss is somewhat aware of our past but only to a shallow level.

Still, I really pray that this would stop completely and I know it wouldn’t.

Mindfulness is certainly key to ease panic attacks and anxieties during my breaks…but her presence is just a thorn in my everyday life. Hoping to stick through the year as well that I will be working with her since I lost the urge to apply for companies (they find out I have a bond, and it’s a big NO to them)

Please pray for my hurdles I experience in the office as I tend to fall into depression again. But I do still listen to everyone’s advice here and it has helped ease my depressive thoughts by 60-70% per work day.

With love to the community,

Me
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