Dear soma:

I am fine, thank you. The weather here is grey and rainy, how is it in Turkey? And please do share more about your life, your studies, and your new relationship?!

anita

Dear soma:

My goodness, it’s you, after all this time, good to read from you again. I will be away from the computer for a while but will be back to you in a few hours from now.

anita

Dear soma:

Back in April 2021, when you started this thread, you were at the end of the 10th grade in high school, I believe, two years to graduation, studying in one of the best high schools in Turkey. You were very anxious at the time, “anxious all around the clock“, you wrote. You were stressed about the high expectations people had of you, “to have a great career” was one such expectation. “(I) don’t even know what I like to do“, you wrote at the time, but you were thinking about a career in business, “I can see myself in a suit going to work“, you wrote back in April 2021.

You shared that your father left you and your mother when you were a baby and she was 19. He then returned 10 years later “to manipulate the hell out of (you)”,  but you had “a soft spot for him and that drives everyone around (you) crazy“. You shared that you were “afraid of him leaving again” even though you only talked to him once a month.

In November 2021, you shared: “I have a significant other that I really cherish“.

Next you posted was yesterday, July 30, 2022. You shared that you are in the 12th grade of high school, currently feeling suffocated in the July summer heat, and saddened by the thought of separating from your “beautiful school” in less than a year. Your school is Beşiktaş Anadolu Lisesi aka Beşiktaş Anatolian High School, located on the European side of Istanbul and one of the best schools in Turkey (beautiful images online). You are busy studying for college exams 8 hours a day.

You’ve suffered a series of losses this year: the death of your precious cat in January, the ending of  your friendship with your best friend who ended the friendship “without an explanation“, and the loss of your relationship with your significant other in May. Thankfully, you wrote, you still have your “current best friend and many others” with you.

“Also another big thing… my dad has cancer. he already had three surgeries this year and that’s the furthest of details I can pour out without having a breakdown“.

“I don’t know your name your age, anything about you but it seems that when I’m in my lowest I remember you. you are familiar. thank you for being here“- thank you very much, soma. You are very kind, always have been on your thread and I appreciate you for it. My screen name is my real name (anita). I am much older than you but when I attended high school it was not too far away from yours. I grew up with the summer heat you are familiar with- although it was less hot than it is now because of the escalating climate change- but it sure felt very hot and very humid back then, and no air conditioning.

I would very much like to read more from you and reply further. I will soon be away from the computer for a while and but will post again in your thread when I return.

anita

Dear soma:

I am okay, soma, and you are welcome. I am glad to read that you are thinking of communicating with me more often: please do, anytime you want.   I hope that you continue to focus on your studies but take breaks, maybe go to the beach and get into the (cool but not cold) water: I used to love doing that in the hot summer weekends of July-August.

You shared long ago that everyone around was going crazy when they noticed that you had a soft spot for your father. I am guessing that they feel better about your soft spot now that he is as sick as he is? You never shared much about him.

About your mother, all you shared was that she was 19 when you were a baby. I wonder what happened with the best friend who ended the friendship without an explanation, if you figured her reason or reasons, and I wonder what happened with your now former boyfriend/ partner. But of course, you don’t have to share about any of this: no reason to share unless there is something to be learned, or something to express and feel better for it.

anita

Dear soma:

Oh, I see: your step father is sick, not your biological father. I hope that your stepdad get better!

You don’t have a soft spot for your bio father since the beginning of this year, and you love your mother “more than anyone or anything in the world“- there are lots of saying about mothers’ unconditional, very strong love for their children, but I found out that it is the children’s love for their mothers that is always strong and unconditional.

Since your former best friend wants things to stay as they are.. better to keep things as they are. I am imagining you and your boyfriend crying like crazy in a Starbucks. What is your favorite coffee at Starbucks?

“when time goes and everybody else moves on you can’t stay in the same place. I have the best memories with him and it is good that we ended things without getting ugly“- mature and wise on your part, I am impressed!

“the weather is reeeeaaly unbearable and I really don’t have time to go to the beach. I’m at the library every day. Maybe I’ll take a break like you said and treat myself with a full day of resting, so much love soma” – the weather here is mild at this time. I wish it was this nice everywhere else in the world. Even the heat wave of a few days ago wasn’t as hot as it is elsewhere. An airconditioned library is heaven in extreme heat. I do wish you take a break though, at the beach, maybe at the end of the day when it is a bit, just a bit cooler? Love back to you-

anita

Dear soma:

My favorite coffee at Starbucks is soy latte, 3 extra shots, strong and very sweet.  “Children always find ways to love their mother, even in the worst conditions“- I couldn’t have said it better. Love back to you!

anita

Dear soma:

Tell me about it, what is happening???
anita