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my BFFs husband keeps making fat comments to me and I suffer from Binge ED

HomeForumsTough Timesmy BFFs husband keeps making fat comments to me and I suffer from Binge ED

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  • #48129
    lea
    Participant

    Last night I decided to spend New Years at my bff’s house. For the past few weeks, when I have come over he has made little comments that are considered rude. When I noticed that he had a thing against fat people I asked him what his deal was (a few weeks ago) he said, lets just say, I’d rather have someone skinny than someone who needs gastric bypass.” So about a week ago I was laying my friends couch and her husband came up to me with their baby and said sat her on me and told her to “lay on this whale”. Last night they were watching animal planet and there was a walrus on tv and he goes (in front of his kids), who does this remind you of?? Later I heard his four year old make a comment while watching rhinos on tv say ” look at that rhino, its so big and fat and I just want to punch it!”…and I thought…hmmm I wonder where she learned that from. It sad to mold kids to think in a disturbing manner. So then later on in the night My bff and I were talking about dating, she asked her husband if he had any friends he could introduce to me. He said, no I dont think so. She is not their type. They have never dated anyone like her. My friend asked, what does that mean? He goes, well lets just say that she is not just obese she is morbidly obese and could probably use a bariatric wheelchair (for someone who is too overweight to walk) and that on a scale of 1 to 10 I am a 4. And all of the girls has dated in the past were at a minimum of an 8. And I would make his friends miserable. Yes he said all of this and I never provoked him at all. I left just before midnight, angry and pissed and told him that he was disgusting. Oh yea, I asked him why does he have a problem with my weight and he said , “I wouldnt have anything to say if you wouldnt bring your obesity around me”. PS I suffer from Binge Eating Disorder and PTSD. I have never been disrespected so badly in my life. And these are personal issues that I have struggled with since the 5th grade. And that was even before I was overweight. I used to starve myself and take diet pills in middle school. And high school I always tried to hide my curves. In college I become depressed with anxiety and binged. Moments like these are what triggers a binge. Like a drug addict feeling triggered and wanting a hit. He just messed up our entire relationship. And him and her sister dont talk either. Moments that hit me to the core like this makes me not want to try in life.

    #48135
    halfofasoul
    Participant

    I’m so sorry you had this happen. I’m also sorry that you apparently didn’t have a friend there to tell you (and possibly this guy) exactly what a damaged shell of a person he is. Pathetic. That’s all it is. Absolutely pathetic. Warped, bitter people will pick a pet hatred the way the rest of us pick hobbies: whether that is a racial group, political group, weight group, etc. It is beyond sad that he’s got children being exposed to this attitude. Just remember no one can judge you except YOU because only you know your whole story; I find it easier to bear attacks or unnecessary criticism when I remind myself (over and over, even as someone is spouting garbage at me) that they have no idea who I am, what my life is like, what I’m capable of, what my past involves etc. It just becomes clearer when you realize their anger and hate have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own insecurities and problems. But unless your bff is bringing incredible support, positivity and meaning to your life, I’d just be outta there period. Bad group, bad attitudes, bad surroundings for you to be in. There ARE way better people out there. 🙂 However, like I said, only you know best what you need. Good luck and pleases try not to take those disgusting comments personally!!! xxxxxxxxxx

    #48139
    Lyla McLean
    Participant

    Hi Lea,

    I/m so sorry that you’ve been the victim of this rude, hostile man. Would you not be better off staying completely away from him? Why go back and be hurt again? Obviously he’s got major anger issues not to mention a total lack of courtesy. What was your BFF saying or doing while this was taking place? Did she speak up for you? If not she’s not much of a friend at all. You say that he messed up your relationship but if she remained silent and allowed her husband to abuse you she is every bit as much at fault.
    It’s nobody’s business but your own how much you weigh. If you see a need to do something about your weight I’m sure your doctor would help. Weight Watchers and T.O.P.S. also seem to be very successful but you are the only one who gets to decide. Please don’t ever go to their house again for any reason. Don’t give him another chance to spew his poison onto you. I’m sorry for your friend, if she is indeed a friend, and her children. This man needs help but he would probably not be able to see that. His business anyway.

    Good luck and don’t allow anyone else to drag you down. Own your own power. Hugs, Lyla

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