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My best friend and I are drifting apart.

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by cece.
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  • April 18, 2018 at 5:17 am #202963
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Edie,

    My advice is to stop reaching out. And, if she does break down and try to contact you, for you not to respond.

    Wait until school is out (I know this is hard), then maybe, just maybe, see if she’s matured any. Without the context of school and other people around in a few months, she could be in a place to be respectful towards you. AFTER you show her that you are not an emotional doormat.

    I also suggest you temporarily deactivate your social media accounts. (Say you’re doing a Technology/Media Cleanse if anyone asks.) Then she can’t do that passive aggressive posting and will have to deal (or not deal) with you In Real Life. Teach her not to hide behind a screen.

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    April 18, 2018 at 5:40 am #202965
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Edie:

    You wrote: “We’ve always gotten along beautifully, even after the fights/cold wars we’d get into. It just isn’t feeling like that anymore”.

    It probably doesn’t feel like that (getting along beautifully) because of the fights, the cold wars. War does it, weaken the ones fighting. No beauty left, only destruction.

    This is what the fights, the war, the aggression did in your friendship: it made your friendship “rocky” and in need “to patch things up” (patching up the wounds inflicted). Indeed it “taken a toll on our relationship”. It has caused Jess to “shut down and give me the silent treatment”, and to not “respond to my texts/calls… Updates her status with passive aggressive/indirect quotes… deletes me from social.. go a few months without speaking at all… ignores me… etc,”

    All this is part of a war the two of you have fought against each other, and war has weakened and destroyed your friendship. It is not surprise to me. Is it to you?

    anita

     

     

     

    April 19, 2018 at 7:58 am #203181
    cece
    Participant

    Dear Edie,

     

    in my opinion, it seems as if Jess is in some sort of way growing , you said she was changing her style ever since she found new friends. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, unless you see these “new” friends treating her wrong behind her back or something. That is basically just your bestfriend trying to expand her views and possibly try new things.

    In terms of her not speaking to you, she may just be super busy and caught up with life as a whole. i agree with Inky on giving her a little more space and allowing her to come through on her own time. If you guys are in high school, she may just actually be going through some things, ALOT of things possibly.

    I say you give her time and if the friendship TRUY meant something, she’ll come around .

     

    Xoxo, CECE

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