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Moving out for the 1st time and SO SCARED

HomeForumsTough TimesMoving out for the 1st time and SO SCARED

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  • #223293
    bee_bee
    Participant

    This is my first post ever but I’m IN NEED of some positive vibes as I prepare myself for this new journey so here it goes…

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years and are finally moving out into our own place. We currently rent (for a minimal price) a studio behind his mom’s house and I’ve been here for about 8 years. He, however has been here his whole life. It’s time for him to move on. As much as we love his mom and feel comforted because of the financial security, it is not a healthy space for his mental happiness. The neighbors are awful, we have zero privacy, and his mom drives him crazy. I believe in order for him to heal from a lot of childhood issues, this separation is necessary. I kept telling myself i’d like to have a certain amount in our savings before we take that leap but an opportunity came up, the landlord loved us, and offered us the place right there on the spot. It’s small, but it’s got character and most importantly it’s ours. To top it off we got a great deal in price considering what Los Angeles housing looks like. But I’ve been an emotional wreck. I know we’re making the right decision and I feel like the way it all happened, so smoothly.. it’s like it was meant to be. Our families have been nothing but supportive and telling us that we need to go for it.

    But like I said I’ve been an emotional nervous wreck because this is going to be such a huge change. Thinking about bills and rent stresses me out so much. For most of our lives in our teens and early twenties we lived the broke life, always being on a strict budget. This past year I got a better job and was able to save a little and live comfortably. But now that we’ll be paying rent and bills I know we will be back to where we started and that worries me. We are simple people.. don’t spend much money on stupid things or shop constantly. But it’s nice to have the option if we wanted too.. now that will be going away. Not only that but leaving the city where I grew up and being in a new neighborhood is going to take some adjusting.. it’s just happening so fast. We signed the rental agreement yesterday and we’re moving in, in 5 days! I should mention we have been talking about this though, and looking. We went to see places that just never worked so my expectations at this open house were low. And then lo and behold we loved it and we got it. So i’m not quite sure why, as much as I mentally prepared myself, that i’m still feeling this way.

    We are both 28 so I understand that it is definitely time. I keep telling myself if only we could hold off another year we could save much more.. but at this point I think our space is so important and most importantly a huge step for us as well. We have enough in our savings that god forbid something happened, we’d be able to pay rent for at least three months. But now we have to consider appliances and household items.. I guess I am just scared to see my savings dwindle away. We do not have wealthy families and will be doing a lot of this on our own. Don’t have much furniture. But i’m assuming once we settle in and adjust to our new budget and way of life, we will make it work.

    AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING?? Am I making a mistake? That’s my biggest fear.. that i’m making a mistake I can’t take back. Once we’re gone.. we’re not coming back.

    Any tips, advice, words of encouragement would be so lovely.

    Thank you all!

    • This topic was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by tinybuddha.
    • This topic was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by bee_bee.
    #223443
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear bee_inspiring4390:

    I hope you feel way less scared soon.

    I will be back to read and reply to your post when I am back to the computer in about sixteen hours. I hope other members reply to you before I am back.

    anita

    #223573
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear bee_inspiring4390:

    It reads to me that you are doing the right thing. Talk about your fears with your boyfriend, the two of you can share honestly and help each other through this. I understand your fears and the fears of not being left with enough money after paying rent and bills. As uncomfortable as living in the studio behind his mother’s place, you got used to it and felt secure with paying less rent.

    Again, it is very important that you and your boyfriend are very close, help each other through this move and adjustment. To save money, you can purchase furniture and appliances in garage sales/ second hand stores. I lived in Los Angeles myself. I remember purchasing those build it yourself furniture in Target, put together a dining room table for very little money and was  proud of it too!

    anita

    #224031
    Manyfires
    Participant

    Just so you don’t feel alone…but not to minimize your feelings…everyone I know right now is going thru a MAJOR CHANGE. Something about how you talked about the new place made me feel this is the right time and the right place. I agree with Anita. Talk to him. He may be going thru some doubt issues himself. Confide in each other and be each other’s strength. And remember to breathe when it gets scary. You can do this! Blessings.

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