Ok Anita, here goes.

When I was 11, my father started a scuba diving business in Thailand. I, along with My sister (who is two years older than me) and my Mother were all taken along. My father’s vision was for us all to live there for what he saw as the future.

For me, I was in heaven

I’ve loved adventure from a young age and have always enjoyed learning about and being part of other cultures, the Thai culture really has left its mark on me, I positively love the people, the country, their whole way of life. It was easy whilst living there, young and unknowingly joyful. I had too many pets to remember, terrapins, a stray dog who I named Foxy, snakes, parrots, stick insects, you name it and I had once enjoyed them. I even had the pleasure of raising a fallen sparrow chick into an adult (on terrapin food), who ended up nesting in an out-cove above my window. It was the greatest, most memorable time of my life. I learnt to scuba dive in Thailand and enjoy the sport now.

So, two years later I returned to England, my mother brought my sister and I back so that we could receive a proper education. This decision I am very happy about as it has given me skills and knowledge to have the job I currently do, it’s nothing too special though I’ve had numerous promotions which I’ve been pleased with and it pays the bills pretty well.

I was occasionally bullied which did not fill me with joy as you’d expect, however I knew I was strong, I simply kept going positively.

In the first year after our return I has returned to school and was forced into ‘options’ that I did not care for, this was due to me returning in year 9 when the others has chosen their subjects at the end of year 8 (whilst I was living in Thailand). The rest of my school days are almost unmemorable. I can remember very few moments. I was occasionally bullied which did not fill me with joy as you’d expect, however I knew I was strong, I simply kept going positively.

The end of school came, I acquired low GCSE’s as a result of both late return, me being completely uninterested as Thailand had so much more to offer, the bullies and basically a very odd feeling, for a long two years had passed and my father hadn’t been there, at all. Someone who was so close a part of my life, just, vanished.

I was not told about what had happened until I was around 17, I obviously knew what was going on but no idea why, how. It turned out my father had been getting to know a car sales rep from Thailand. My two step-sisters knew and so gently informed my mother, who did a very good job indeed at keeping her emotions hidden. She had decided to stay in England, a decision that I know broke her heart which she still has trouble with today. She is sad, almost numb because of the past, my cousin recently passed away, he was younger than me, this also had a huge effect on my mother. Recently, over the last year there has been some good improvement, I realize it may not be much but my mother does seem happier 🙂

So, basically, from the day I started school after our return from Thailand, until today, I have not been able to talk to many people for a long period of time, I enjoy formalities and a chat but rarely have deep conversations, apart from with two of my closest and oldest friends. I find it a struggle to have long discussions with my family, mostly, my Mother, we usually share a dozen questions and answers and that’s pretty much done 🙁

In the years since our return to England (18 years ago) I have traveled back out to Thailand to see my Dad 6 times I believe (my memory is shocking), if I sat to think about the amount of times I’ve been out to Thailand I could work it out but for the life of me just don’t know off the top of my head. My memories seem very distant and have done so for as long as I can remember. I have a great attention span for things I love, which is odd as I love my family very much, but do not worry about seeing them, only my mother, I worry about not seeing her, and my sister and nephew and niece…

My first trip back to see him was when I has turned 18 and flew out on my own

OK, so the gist then is that when I was 13 I returned to England without my father, and basically until I was old enough to fly on my own I didn’t see him. (My first trip back to see him was when I has turned 18 and flew out on my own).

I don’t know what to make of it all, I’m upset for both sides, my mother as she loved my father deeply and has a huge piece of herself missing, and my father as he wanted my mother to commit to living in Thailand, which she had a hard time coping with as she had two daughters in England who did not want her to leave.

I currently live with my girlfriend, we have a great partnership, we’re actually waiting on our offer in principle so we can buy a house together. I attended college after high school and studied hard, achieve higher pass marks for English, Math and Science, this enabled me to get a decent first job. Since then I have had 4 jobs, two of which have seen numerous promotions. I am in a stable position in life and am very happy, energetic and ambitious. Have a great positive outlook and actually want to begin photographic journalism into the success of the lives and times of black culture.

The only issue is, I close down, mostly with my mother, and I go quite quiet with my entire family.

I could go on and on but am getting to a point where words are just words now, I will write again when I know what it is that may help?
Maybe you can get somewhere with the story so far! 🙂

In addition, I am not very close to having kids, though I want them. One of my wishes is that my mother gets to meet them, I feel quite sad realizing this may not happen, I feel like I may be too late.

-Simon.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Simon Osborn.