Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Mixed Signals
- This topic has 7 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by Bethany Rosselit.
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April 15, 2015 at 3:00 am #75339LucyParticipant
Hi everyone!
I’ve found myself in a bit of an odd situation that I’ve never been in before with a guy I met recently. In a nutshell, we’re both at the same university in our final year and I had been seeing him around campus and the library staring at me but I never thought anything of it. However, about a month ago now, he started talking to me and flirting A LOT, I would flirt back and it was fun – everybody was convinced he liked me due to the way he would act and the things he would say to me. This back and forth flirtation had been going on every time we saw each other until about last week (p.s. no numbers exchanged) when his friend suggested that we go out on a date, I laughed it off and he looked really embarrassed until he suddenly changed his tune and said, ‘no, I mean I flirt with you because you’re attractive but you’re not really my type’.
As soon as he said that, I decided I wouldn’t carry on flirting and would just be friendly when I see him around, however, a couple of days ago, our relationship took a turn and we ended up having a serious and deep conversation for once where he confided in me about a couple of things and said that he has a lot of respect for me. He would still add in flirtatious comments i.e. commenting that he’d like to kiss me which I would just laugh off (I didn’t flirt back) but the overall sincerity of the conversation was refreshing.
Yesterday, he commented that he had never asked anybody this before, but to add myself on a social network from his phone which I did – and commented that he ‘didn’t want my number yet’. Today, I ran into him and we had another normal conversation for about half an hour and he does comment on other girls to me etc. He also said that he doesn’t see me as someone he wants to get in bed with nor a best friend but somebody who he cares about – like a little sister…yet the way he has acted and the things he has said make me question what is actually going on.
I am confused, I don’t know whether he might like me or sees me as a friend? I know I have a slight crush on him but I am definitely receiving mixed signals! Any response would be helpful!April 15, 2015 at 4:32 am #75340InkyParticipantHi Lucy,
Awww, he sounds so CUTE!!!
From the outside looking in, yes, of course he likes you. No, he won’t admit it to you because you did literally laugh a little at him. Not in a mean way, but a guy’s worst fear is being laughed at.
And how adorable! He wants to add you as a friend ~ but not have your number ~ not yet, anyway. And you’re not a bed mate yet, nor a best friend, but a “little sister”. Don’t you see he’s trying to “save face”?
You know, he is precious ~ the opposite of some of the jerks out there. Enjoy the flirting. Don’t expect more, but don’t be surprised if there will be. Just have No Expectations and enjoy the ride!
Best,
Inky
April 15, 2015 at 10:35 am #75361LucyParticipantHi Inky,
Thank you for your response!
I did wonder whether he was just saving face although the ‘little sister’ comment threw me off because if I see a guy as a ‘brother’ figure then I most definitely do not like him but I see your point.
We’ll see what happens, I’m enjoying it for the time being!
April 16, 2015 at 2:07 am #75395mamieParticipantI think when you laugh off the dating advice, his ego was badly hurt. So now it will take him some time to get back to normal. But one thing is clear, he really likes you. He seems to be waiting for a clear signal from you before moving ahead. So keep flirting is not going to hurt anyone. Hope for the best
April 16, 2015 at 2:37 am #75400LucyParticipantHi Mamie,
Thank you for your response!!
UPDATE: He went on a date yesterday with a girl – he kept telling me he didn’t want to go and that she initiated it – so when I asked him how it went today, he said that he doesn’t trust her but he will go on a second date with her – he hasn’t been on a second date with a girl in about two years.
Now I’m even more confused!
June 3, 2015 at 9:35 am #77665ChayaParticipantHi Lucy,
I’m 23 and have been in the dating game for a while, so I have a lot of experience with boy drama. When it comes to mixed message and flirting and the like, I find that if a guy is seriously into me he’ll just be straightforward about it. Not to say that your guy isn’t, but maybe you can try just being straightforward with him? “I like you, dude!”
June 3, 2015 at 6:05 pm #77704Adam PParticipantHey Lucy,
Yeah exactly what chaycups has in mind. Just take the chance and state your intentions; “I like you”, “Let’s go out”.
You mentioned that the two of you were in your final year at school. With summer around the corner and with the semester at a close if you two are still in communication, just take the chance. If the two of you have stopped talking after school ended, don’t worry about him and enjoy your summer, post- university life.
Take Care
June 10, 2015 at 10:40 am #78001Bethany RosselitParticipantHi Lucy,
I would suggest being curious with him. So much communication is based on assumptions. When he says something, like that you aren’t his type, ask him what he means when he says this. Ask other open-ended questions, like “Why do you think that?” This will open up the floor for him to look at his reasons for his actions and for him to explain what is going on in his mind.
Good luck and keep us posted!
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