Hi Ruth,

I am so sorry that the death of your dog has affected you so deeply.  You shared 7 years of your life with him and gave him a wonderful time.  I think you are being a bit hard on yourself to say that you got his last day wrong.  You were with him at the end and he was aware of that.  It couldn’t have been easy to see him suffering but you must realise that this was not your fault.  You gave him as much comfort as you could.

Unfortunately, loss through death is all part of the cycle of life and there is not much anyone can do about that.  This acute loss has reminded you of your own (or your parents) mortality.  Give yourself time to grieve, remember the good times you shared, be kind to yourself, silently send your love to your dog and one day, who knows, you may be able to offer another rescue dog a good home.

I am a bit concerned that you are envisaging a future where you are all on your own.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Pluck up[ the courage to meet new people by joining groups and/or volunteering at a local charity shop.  Would you be interested in helping children with their reading at a local school – are these opportunities available in your area?  Join an art club (if you are so inclined) or learn to play a musical instrument.  Don’t let being introverted stop you – everyone is good at something – find your passion (if you haven’t already done so) and indulge it.

Live one day at a time and give up worrying about the future.  Life is full of opportunities.  Have a free makeover in your local beauty store, try a new hairstyle, wear a different colour, cook a vegetarian/italian/chinese meal, arrange some flowers, spray your bedlinen with lavender, listen to some relaxing music, sleep under the stars, visit an art gallery, have a massage, take up tai chi, learn a foreign language, say hello to a stranger, pay someone a compliment.

Above all, be grateful for this life that you have and resolve to make the most of it every step of the way.

Peggy