fbpx
Menu

Met perfect girl. But we can't be together.

Home→Forums→Relationships→Met perfect girl. But we can't be together.

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • July 30, 2014 at 5:15 am #62214
    Inky
    Participant

    Good Morning!

    I am so old school on this one I flip to the other side, a radical one.

    “All’s fair in love and war.”

    And, people used to date each other, many people, a lot. And once you find the right one, you “Know”. Then there’s no messing around.

    I say, if she’s not engaged, go for it.

    I also say, a real live, current, close relationship trumps a long distant, long drawn out, mostly virtual relationship.

    There is one magic line to free yourselves of the whole mess. But only she can utter the enchanted words.

    They are: “I met somebody.”

    July 30, 2014 at 9:47 am #62226
    Matt
    Participant

    Inky,

    Goosebumps, well said! Reads like a poem to me. 🙂

    With warmth,
    Matt

    Seraph,

    Its clear how much you want her to choose you, trust that. Perhaps you’re not on the same page, such as her feelings for you are not what you think they are, but if they are, you’re in luck! She may need time to grow the courage, but you should definitely tell her your desires. Not “you must do such”, rather “my heartfelt wish, my dream is such”. Then, stay open to what she wants, listen, respond.

    Consider that she can’t avoid hurting him, because she has already found you. If she returns what you have for her, then she can have a clean break, let go. Slow, steady, like pulling off a band-aid. Even though it stings, keep going, its just a moment in time, breathe. Be free.

    Also, if and when she does decide to break it off, don’t let her grief make you jealous (or wavering in her desire). It doesn’t mean the click you two share is being threatened, it only means she has some stuff to process. She may need time alone, or especially tender openness if you’re with her. Hug that heart, help her know she made a good choice, is well loved, thoughts of ex-boyfriend, confusion, and all. Make that space in your heart for all of her, she deserves it!

    With warmth,
    Matt

    July 31, 2014 at 1:57 am #62299
    David4500
    Participant

    i used to have a choice to choose like her. to be with the person i like most or not hurting the person that love me most. now the person that i love most, decided to stop contacting me forever even though i have already decided to choose the person i love most.

    If she really can’t decide what to do, stop contacting her at all. i know it is hard for you, but if you really do love her, let her go. she will come back to you if she made a decision. If not, find another girl, don’t keep hurting her.

    hope it helps, good luck!

    July 31, 2014 at 10:55 pm #62384
    tony
    Participant

    The problem I see here is that you view her as being “perfect” and that you have became desperate for her. If she was perfect for you, then the other guy wouldn’t be in the equation. You are seeing her for more than what she is worth, and you’re fooling yourself. You need to accept the fact that she isn’t “perfect” and that effort needs to be put in if you want her that bad, despite how you make it sound like she’s your soul-mate by that first moment being very “different.”

    I can’t tell you what you should do because I don’t know the small details of this, but I will tell you what I would do. I would move on and find someone else. I wouldn’t wait because that’s like you’re hoping for her relationship to not work out, and this hope would make you even more desperate for it to become a reality. Also, by waiting for this person, this might be in your way of seeing other people.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.