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Low Confidence

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  • November 7, 2015 at 1:11 am #86912
    jock
    Participant

    but I dont feel that wild connection that we used to feel. He is always trying to make me laugh and smile, but at the end of the day, i struggle to feel what i need from him

    I think you might be expecting too much. Relationships can’t maintain that honeymoon feeling for long. 2 years is pretty good really.
    What do you need from him exactly? Try to see from his point of view would be my advice. My opinion is a guy’s opinion (my first instinct was to see your post from his point of view)so you will need to hear from the ladies as well.

    November 7, 2015 at 4:35 am #86914
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi lchevy86,

    It’s normal for that falling in love feeling to change to “just” love after the second year. He has no control over that. It sounds like he is the same person!

    As far as the female friends he’s had before he met you ~ either your intuition is right or it’s a false alarm. Do you sense the other women are interested in HIM? Not actively, but like if you broke up with him would they be happy to date him if he asked? Do you sense he’s looking at other people now that your Honeymoon Phase is winding down? Not actively, but comparison window shopping?

    Are you interested in starting a family? Maybe your anxiety is your subconscious saying “When is this going to happen?”

    I would make it a blanket rule that if he sees his old female friends then you will go with him. And he goes with you if you see your old guy friends. Whether you’re sensing something or just insecure, it can’t hurt. Example: If I don’t bring my wallet with me in the mall then I couldn’t buy anything even if I wanted to! LOL

    Blessings,

    Inky

    November 7, 2015 at 10:02 am #86930
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ichevy86:

    You wrote that certain things in your relationship a few months ago changed. Were those things external changes? What were those?

    Or were those things internal changes, such as what was termed above the end of the Honeymoon stage which could mean that your great desire to love and be loved was satisfied long enough for you to relax enough so that the old hurts and fears and doubts from before meeting him are popping out, as if saying: “wait, we are still here!

    ???
    anita

    November 10, 2015 at 9:52 pm #87198
    Sarah
    Participant

    Thanks everyone for your wonderful words of advice!

    We’ve since talked things out – and ive expressed my concerns and hurt feelings. Both agreed that the said “honeymoon” phase is over, but does not mean our relationship is dead. The lines of communications has opened back up – as it should. I have started to look at things from his point of view to make sure im getting both sides of things. I think deep down i have underlaying issues from previous relationships that i unknowingly bring into my current relationship which is not fair. Time to work on myself too 🙂

    November 10, 2015 at 11:00 pm #87200
    Este
    Participant

    Hello Lauren!

    These feelings may come back again sometime. So when it does, keep this in mind – What do you need and want from this relationship?

    It is normal for humans to want to feel validated. But, that is a ‘want’ you see. We need to validate ourselves, by loving, caring, be kind etc…to ourselves. It is only when we are at peace with ourselves, life will be better. Simply because we see how we feel and think. 🙂

    So yes! Work on yourself, constantly. Be naked honest with yourself. No one is going to judge you except yourself. We have fears and stuff but that can only make us stronger. 😀

    Feel better soon! Om.

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