dear Mark ,

thank you for your comment.

the problem is i am coming from a family or society where having relationship is okey but having romantic ,and sexual contact are Sin.by the way i am a Muslim may be u get a better idea of my situation .my family is open minded but not in that way that i say them that i was having a living relationship .i told him that if he stresssed me more i will go to police .then he replied he already email his lawyer about the situation ..

thank you Mark ,

i am trying to contact my family.

dear Anita ,

yes i m 23 yrs old  as i mentioned above about my ex (with whom i fall out of love with these behaviour) and thats right they had all these behaviors .

i dated another one he was my first love and he dint have any such thing but he broke up with me and after some years we startd to date again and he goshted me.

what is wrong in it Anita ?(as u wrote in ur post

You are only 22 or 23. There is something wrong here, three out  of three same  kind of men, all doing the same  behaviors?)

before somemonths i wrote in my previous post that may be there is something wrong in me because my relationship dont last or etc?

dear Anita,

your post just made my heartbeat got faster started to think a greater picture of everything .

i ll start answering every thing u asked .

u wrote

“That happened Oct 2018, five months into the relationship. And yet January this year, you wrote: “we had 7 months relationship we never had problems”, that Oct drama happened in the fifth month.”

as u asked ,”.It puzzles me: you wrote that you stopped working part time while living with him because you wanted to spend more time studying, being a student. And yet,  you wrote that you were with him “24/7… taking care of him”- what about your studies, I wonder.”

i had long uni hours and after coming from uni i used to study whole day at room or sometime went to library .but all day long  my books were opened .onething more i want to add here that our schedule were always different i used to sleep all night and early morning i had uni and than  started studying etc but he used to awake all night playing games and watching movies etc and when i used to come back home he was sometime sleeping .and i used to study .. during these time we were not spending much time togather but of course the time he needed me to shower or bath or massage him or anything else i was availible and sometime wasnt availible as i was studying or in library.

1) he is 10 years older than me.and i live here without my family or anyone else . no one knew about our relationship among my cast people because none of them  lives in my city where we were living .

and he is also alone in this country without any family member.

this person is a”political”(asylum seeker) refuge and has a good reputation among our society people in europe or in this country .in this whole country there are about 60 people of our society(i am saying society ,here i mean to say people we speak same language and culture may be its better to say “People of my Cast”) he made good reputation because he helps other or is well known in our home country and he has good reputation because he is the leader of a organization ,in which all other 60 people involve.

yes  his shoulder bone was slipped from its place once in early july.i had to call ambulance and he got operated .that time i was all the time in hospital after 8-12 hours we came home .he couldnt function .i had to do nursing ,cooking bathing etc. after somedays his hands got burned whlile he was making breakfast and i was at work.

after just few days he started to feel pain in his feets everytime and he used to say he is gonna die or he had  heart problem because he was experiencing pain in chest .those time i was too tens because he wasnt so serious to go to doctor either  .he went to doctor 2-3 times .he never cared for himself .

2) no my parents arent here as i told u ,they are in my homeland and i came here to study alone .no they dont know .but just yesterday i told my sister about these all situation because he was blackmailing me .now my two sisters know about him.

3) yes anita i got  sexually involves too soon after dating him one and half months .actually we started dating in end of may and in mid of june i went to visit my family in my homeland  and i came back in july.after one month long distance realationship a nd all day long textig in my homeland.

ya in last fight i handed over everything because he asked me to .i gave him shoes and jacket ,he threw shoes outside of window  and jacket in dustbin which wasnt expected,and he took egg and everything and started throwing in dustbin .and remaining thing he took a plastic bag and took everything and kept in that ..

why i handed over other things because he was asking me to .he took glasses and left those outaside because he bought them .he said  me give him every single thing in which he invested any money …and i handed over things because i wanted to show him i dont need his things .

4) of course whatever u mentioned above all are problems.

as i wrote here :

“.he was taunting me that “why  i dint have any trust issue while having his facilities or favours ,doing shopping, taking money fom him than how suddenly i have problem with him

? he is right we had 7 months relationship we never had problem but when i saw his chats and caught him in betraying or lying i have now trust issue .i cant trust him  and i dont want to because he never take responsibility ”

here i meantthat we had no problem actually i meant to say trust issue.

5) about my study:

i have given exams and waiting for result.and will apply study in medicine field but i m having alot of interest in technology .may be i will change my becholar field .

dear Anita ,

last 7 months of relationship were nt problem free and he betrayed my trust ,told lie,disrespected me ,threatened or blackmailed me( when i try to break up )but he is so good at manipulating and convincing as if it is okey to be disrespecting me,shouting in public,getting angry when i dont want any sexual thing ,or sexually abusing me ..

he used to do some sexually cruel things like putting finger in my Anus ,grabbing my breast too hard or slapping my butt all the time when i wanted to sit his finger was already there to put inside of my Anus hole .i used to scream because of such acts because of the pain and the pajama or jeans i am wearing .i used to tell him stop doing but he used to say no it doesnt hurt.he knows because he was with other women .he has experience .i must have any problem if i dont like this or scream during this kind of love …and during this time i had started self doubt . how can somebody dont understand if i am hurting .i felt like i was being abused.if i stopped him or screamed little loud he would get angry and used to say me that i make him think that he is torturing me .

and thats right he was torturing me and i told him in clear words because that was truth.that it isnt love but a torture .

he was too good at justifying things that i ended up apologizing for his every drama.

and i couldnt stay angry with him because of his logical and 10 years experienced justification and explaination.

and as u asked me that am i here in europe to please such man who refers to call me prostitute than my Answer is NO .

I DONT WANT THIS MAN in my life i am trying everything in my power to get him out of my life .

he was threatening me about my family so i told my sister ,he was blackmailing me about telling people here and publishing my conversation i already took my mutual friend help .about whom i discussed above .he blackmailed me when i said him that i will involve police if u dont stop doing such actions ( he contacted my family and started harrasing my sister and telling her that he ll destroy me and he has proof against me etc .) he told me he already emailed his lawyer to file a case against me about his money.so i texted him today and asked is your lawyer name XYZ??. he was shocked and asked me if i am gonna file a case so i said no i just wanted to email her and explain all the situation. he was too scared seriously .than he told me that he was joking when he told me that he wrote an emal to his lawyer…(which i knew it because he a great lier ) during this conversation he was threatening me again by saying if u email lawyer i ll be ur enemy .dont let me destroy you etc .but the matter of fact is he is very scared from inside but wont stop  manipulating and threating me …

dear ANITA,

no i am not living with him but he wont stop texting .i blocked him than he contacted my family

dear Anita,

i wasnt able to write from last two days because of job and too much Drama.as u said if possible use others power so i used it .

meanwhile he contacted my ex and started to ask about me and him and sent him the conversation( me and my ex conversation which was saved in my emails he has already without my permission saved in his own laptop along with my contact list )  and asking him if i had sex with him etc…and then my ex which is in one of our whatsapp group he shared whole conversation in Whatsapp Group not caring my privacy …my all group member (friends) found that very disrespectful while i was sleeping .

so my sociopath bf asking his money of laptop and the ticket he bought for me.it costs 1600 euro along with some house things (vacum cleaner etc) .and after his all these drama i accepted that i ll send his laptop and money ..

but really do i own him ??

he just made me feel so disrespected,calling me prostitute etc,contacting my family ,threaening and blackmailing me….

by the way he was staying with me 7 months and i was the one who was paying rent ..being his wife without marraige,pleasing him ,caring him ..do i really own him money?

because i dont have money i already in debt in this month ..

whats ur suggestion or opinion ..??