Dear Kathleen:

Reads to me that you are very excited about this woman, hence the capital letters. Excited, elated, reads to me that you are experiencing that euphoric in love feelings.

You don’t want a relationship because you don’t want to interrupt your busy schedule, you wrote. And you are busy and doing so well, from your share, studying, working, paying your own bills, all at 19, and, if all this wasn’t impressive enough, you also volunteer!

“What to do?” is the question in the title of your thread.

My answer: because you desire a long, fulfilling relationship, if at all, find out what she desires, what she want and is there a fit. Then had a series of honest, thorough, straightforward conversations with her, keeping euphoria in check, so to come up with a Relationship Plan that will work for you (not against you). Then proceed with caution, evaluating and re-evaluating the plan along the way.

anita

Hi Kathleen,

It’s not awful at all! It’s wondeful!! Enjoy it! The butterflies, the giddyness, the excitement, the company and shared interests. Just take it one day at a time. Don’t worry about it being all about “love” right now, as that is putting too much pressure on yourself. Just enjoy today. Not many people get to experience these feelings, so you are very fortunate. Humans are social creatures by nature, we all desire love and to be loved. It’s an amazing feeling. You described it as “awful” why? Something so beautiful and natural. I say enjoy it! Enjoy this person! Life is short. Don’t overanalyze about it, the future, just enjoy and relax, and let things take it’s course. Yes, independence is nice..but it’s even nicer to share your life with that special someone..x

Dear Kathleen:

You are welcome.

My curiosity, and please answer only if you feel comfortable answering: you wrote that you came out to your parents as bisexual. Why?

I mean, being bisexual means you may have a relationship with a man in the future, so you didn’t need to let them know that you will not be dating men in the future. Did you want to let them know that you may be dating women in the future?

anita

Dear Kathleen:

Somehow I missed your post of two days ago, didn’t know you posted until this morning. I read your comments on other members’ threads- very intelligent, insightful, kind- and re-read your post here: what an unusual, rare 19 year old you are!

How rare it must be, a 19 year old working full time and attending classes full time and volunteering for a non profit most of her non working time.

It is unbelievable to me that your parents do not speak to you while you are living with them. How can they not be proud of you, I wonder.

You didn’t expect their reaction to you telling them that you are bisexual- is it because they were not critical of you in the past, but were accepting of you, so you thought they will accept this as well?

anita