Hi Carien,

I’m so sorry that you’re in such a difficult situation. Emotions truly can be overwhelming.

I’d like to tell you a little story…

Years ago, I had body-dysmorphia and was fixated on my image. Obsessive weight training became my identity. I poured myself into relationships which became a source of self-esteem and value, because I didn’t recognise my own. I hung onto toxic relationships because without them, I was nothing.

But, the problem with identifying things outside of yourself is that when they’re taken away, it’s devastating. As you well know…

Well, I herniated a disk during a deadlift.. And it took me 2 years before I could walk properly, let alone exercise.

As you can imagine, the hit on my self-esteem, self-worth and my perceived value completely imploded and I was in pieces.

Suddenly, my entire identity was stripped away.

One day, 3 years later I finally looked at myself in a mirror and didn’t feel replused. Not only that, but I loved myself for who I was not what I was.

That injury caused me to embark on a journey of self-love, where I learned to embrace my value and no longer need validation from others. Even though I still can’t exercise 5 years on, I’m so grateful for that experience because learning to love yourself is truly one of the most valueable lessons.

When you love yourself fully, utterly, totally and completely, you attract people and situations into your life that resonate with that. You create your life from the relationship you have with yourself.

Perhaps a shift in perception is needed, to see that this situation is an opportunity for you to find who you truly are and love who you truly are, at your core.. stripping away all of the limiting beliefs you formed as a child. Beliefs that you’re not enough, not loveable, not heard or seen. Whatever it is, you must identify your beliefs and get them onto paper. Pick up a pen and just start writing. Writing is a really powerful way of shifting your inner landscape.

Repeat to yourself, “I AM enough”, slowly, several times a day. Overtime you’ll begin to believe it. As I did.

It doesn’t happen over night, but it will happen and you will get through this, stronger and brighter than you could’ve ever imagined.

In time you may even see this situation as a turning point in your life and be thankful.. Just as I was.

Wishing you luck!

Emma

http://www.emmavergara.com

Stuff like this happens … happened with me also … and yes it does pain !

You just need to find something else to focus on … find a better purpose or anything that you like … things get better with time and you will heal completely …

It is going to take time … could be one month or two month or even 6 months … but time heals everything … with time you will feel better and recover !

Carien,

I am sorry that it feels so devastating now.  I know it is hard to think that this is a gift but it is a wake up call.  Emma shares her personal story how she healed.

We all need to be healthy and in order to do that is to love ourselves first.  When we put our self worth and value based on someone else then that is a losing game.

Right now you are depressed and stopped taking care of yourself.  You are mourning, not only for your loss of your relationship but the loss of yourself.  Take care of you.  Bit by bit.  That is the journey of loving you.

Where to start?  Move your body.  Walk daily.  Or workout daily.  Or dance daily.  Or do yoga daily.  Exercise produces endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine.  All chemicals that make you feel good.

In between, breath deep.  This alone releases endorphins.  It slows your heart rate, adds more oxygen and helps you relax.

Mark