hi there, if you are asking for advice or a question… i think you have already made up your mind and know exactly what your heart wants. If it works, it would have worked a long time ago… you wouldn’t even have to think twice, and you would not be here to discuses the situation andddd….. you would not fall for that man.
There is nothing to say in this, but i can feel so much pain that you have to go through right now, the decision is harder as your children are still young. But the longer you leave, risks are more damage for both children and yourself and your husband. Im not trying to advice to do anything, i am just speaking my opinion about your circumstance.
Came from a family where my parents divorced when i was young, it was hurt but maybe it hurts a little less because i was very young and innocent to realise things, but if my parents were to divorce now… i can accept it, but i would be very hurt.
Sooner than later…
Your chemistry with the man 30 years ago, must been very strong for you both to reconnected again. Once its there, it’d always be there.
I hope you all the best.
This relationship is headache and emotional drainage, I’ve learnt to not leave things any longer if it don’t feel right, its probably not right.
<3
Goodluck

Would you divorce your husband if the other guy didn’t exist? There’s your answer.

But wait for all the kids to be adults first if you do. That’s when change would happen anyway.

And if you do divorce, keep the other guy a “ghost” for a while, for everyone’s mental health. Then gently introduce him a few years later so he doesn’t catch any stigma for breaking up a marriage.