Hi Little Buddha

I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties with your mental health and that your partner isn’t able to support you at the moment. It is not an easy thing to go through.

It sounds like both you and your partner are going through a lot right now. It certainly isn’t easy when you’re busy with work and kids. It can feel overwhelming and like there’s no time to process. This is especially difficult when it comes to mental health or feelings of stress because it is difficult to add more stress in that situation, especially when you believe he will respond negatively. You cannot get blood from a stone and trying to can make things worse.

Do you know what is causing your partner difficulties?

I would suggest keeping things low stress. You could probably get some of your needs met this way. You could probably get a hug. Or Spend a bit of chill time together.

It is possible to communicate your feelings a little bit at a time in a positive way. For example. Saying I miss you. Doing something nice for him. Then spending time together.

I’m feel sad about stuff from my past, can I get a hug?

Short and sweet is what gets the best results when everyone is struggling.

It is bonding with your partner that is the most important thing. Treating yourself and him kindly is very important when things are difficult.

It’s good to hear that you have a therapist. It might be worth trying medication, if you’re having difficulties coping even with a therapist.

In my experience, resentment is something that requires understanding your partner’s side of things. Life is hard sometimes, people have different needs and people do make mistakes.

It is okay to want and need things from your partner but at the same time it is okay for him to not be able to give it when he is struggling too.

It might be hard, but you will come through it stronger when you are able to manage your feelings without relying on your husband when things are too difficult for him to be able to be there for you. I hope that things get easier for you both soon.

Remember it is hard for him too right now. You are in the same boat together.

I find that relying on people who are in a place to be supportive is helpful as well. You are welcome to talk about anything that you would like, if that would be helpful to you?

Such a common problem in relationships. Thank you for having the strength to reach out for support.

I think the best place to turn in times of strife is love. Not the romantic dreamy bout that comes and goes with the pace of the wind. I’m talking the real deal, often referred to as unconditional love.

All conflict in relationships arise because of unmet needs. This goes for professional, personal, and even the relationship that we have with ourselves (which is paramount when we are talking about mental health troubles).

Using unconditional love to help rectify these troubles is much different than movies, novels, or friends and family advice that you’ll typically get. Remember, this level of love requires nothing in advance. This is also what most people get wrong in their relationships. They are expecting, they have conditions, expectations, judgements, and a long history of not getting their needs met. What we think about we bring about, and if your stuck in the past, of want, of lack that’s precisely what you’ll continue to get.

My advice, infuse your existence with love. It’s as simple as repeating “I love you” incessantly in your head. I like to do things in three’s to help maintain this state. Drinking water: I(gulp) love (gulp) you(gulp). Walking: I(step) love(step) you(step). Exercising: I(repetition) love(repetition) you(repetition).

The biggest hang-up people have with love is the expectation that it comes from outside of them. We actually generate the stuff. It comes from within. We manufacture it. When you realize this, then you realize you are in control. You are the one with the ultimate power. This allows for compassion at a much higher level. This is true grace for others.

If you need more from your relationships, you can have an honest respectful conversation based in love. Use Nonviolent Communication techniques as an outline: Observation (what you see or hear), Feelings (how it makes you feel), Needs (what do you specifically need), Requests (how can you invite them to change future interactions with you).

When you notice those negative thoughts, those feelings of lack, the idea of isolation, remember that you are not living your highest potential. Keep practicing love. And with all practices, we don’t practice until we get it right, we practice until we can’t get it wrong. Practice unconditional love until its your natural response.