fbpx
Menu

Long term tough times

HomeForumsTough TimesLong term tough times

New Reply
Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #65998
    Achyheart
    Participant

    I chose to write since lately I’ve been in such a funk. I really have nothing to live for other than my parents. My relationship of 9 years ended last year, which I’m still working on getting through. Everything I’ve done to follow my dreams and pursue the things I love in the past year have failed miserably… To the point where I’ve given up and don’t really have any drive or motivation to try anymore. When I think about what I want in life,instead of thinking of things I wanted in the past such as a fulfilling career and meaningful work, all I want is a partner and family. Not something I can work harder to attain, like a career or interests.

    I’m 38 and I have nothing to live for. Life seems meaningless and tiring. I’m not depressed, just came to the point that all the effort and work I’ve put in to improving my life for the past 14 years seem
    Fruitless and life seems hopeless. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or if I’m just hoping that voicing my feelings will help me to feel better.

    #65999
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    @smiley Hi Leila

    Pls know you are not alone in your struggles and life can be a hard teacher when we refuse to look after our own needs. Life wants us to be self-centred ie ME first and then everyone else. Self-centredness doesn’t mean being selfish. It is actually quite the opposite. Once you are truly able to look after your most important needs, you will be available to everyone else with an open and sincere heart. If your needs are not met, you don’t help anyone else as you are constantly wallowing in negativity. Think about it.

    I attach 4 articles, which will give you the much needed positive energy to keep moving forward and to beat the curve balls that have been thrown at you.

    7 Important Life Lessons Everyone Learns the Hard Way

    25 Things to Remember When Life Gets Rough

    20 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

    16 Reasons You’re Succeeding in Life (Even If You Don’t Feel You Are)

    YOU ARE WORTH IT. SMILE PLEASE 🙂

    Jasmine

    #66004
    Achyheart
    Participant

    Hi jasmine,

    Thank you for sharing your encouraging words and the links to that site. I read through the articles and found them to be uplifting. They kind of covered all the thoughts I’ve been having.

    I’m trying to figure out what I’m living for. I’m not necessarily searching for happiness. I think I’m needing the connection and fulfillment of partnership and taking care of others which seems so out of reach.

    Can one truly feel content without friends and lived ones to share a life with?

    #66006
    Pink nails
    Participant

    Hi Leica,
    You are not alone with your thoughts… I have been feeling exactly the same way.. I have had several events over e past three years that have changed everything I thought I knew. My mum passed away, I lost my job, then it split with my bf of 5 years, then the next guy I went out with turned out to be awfully emotionally manipulative and after ten months I ended up horribly depressed to the point of feeling like I had nothing to of live for except my dog.. I recently had to put my dog down as she was really poorly, my current relationship of 6 months is on really rocky ground right now.. I left a job I loved for two years to pursue a new career and take myself out of my comfort zone, my housemate and very close friend moved out a few weeks ago..I feel anxious all of the time.

    I’m still smiling though. I’m sleeping really badly at the moment and I have constant butterflies in my stomach, but im try to reassure myself but asking in any given situation what’s the worst that can happen..

    It sounds like you are having an awful time of it.. When I felt really awful at the start of this year.. My dad told me that nothing is permanent and this too shall pass.

    I really hope you do start to feel better and feel you have a reason to get up.. Have you spoken in length to your doctor/friends about how you feel?

    X

    #66017
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks Pink Nails.

    Hi Leila

    You are not searching for happiness, eh ? What will you achieve by having connections and needing to look after others ? Why do you want that ? Perhaps, you need to look more deeply into why you want what you want. Unfortunately or fortunately, all of us are on the pursuit of happiness. Happiness doesn’t mean being in an excited state all the time. It just means having a state of being, whereby you feel calm, peaceful, grateful and content and have the strength to deal with whatever life throws at you. You are able to maintain this state regardless of any external situations, circumstances or people. Are we there yet ?

    In response to your question – Yes, some evolved people can be very content without having friends or loved ones to share their lives with. They have chosen this path as they have realised that everything in this world is temporary except for unconditional love so they treat the whole world as their friend / loved ones.

    Look around to see if anything is the same as it was from 2 years ago. I doubt you will have anything, which wont have changed. Even all the cells in us change every few months. The only permanent in our lives is change. Change of circumstances, people, situations, countries, emotions etc. A person who is able to embrace this uncertainty makes an awesome life for himself or herself as he / she doesn’t get stuck to outcomes. You just merely enjoy everything that comes your way and let go and march ahead with your head held high up. And trust me, this is possible with some self awareness and regular practice of unconditional love.

    Previously, you found meaning in your career. When the relationship broke down, your focus changed and now you are looking to find meaning in connections. This doesn’t make sense. Do you think you are running away from your truth ? Perhaps learning to appreciate what you have currently may help you to foster the connections and career you look for. Live in the present rather than chase something in the long term.

    And fostering connections take a lot of self love. If you are nice to YOURSELF, this love will flow onto others unconditionally and everyone deserving of you will be attracted to you. If you are nasty to YOURSELF, this negativity will flow onto others as well and you will attract similar events and people into your life. Why don’t you try it ?

    Be kind to yourself Leila. You have spent 38 years being a slave to the world and its demands. How about changing this around to becoming a master of your life and going for what makes you happy and content ?

    All the dots will connect. And please do consider seeing a GP or a counsellor to see if they can benefit you in some way on your journey. Stop the self pitying right in its tracks.

    Jasmine

    #66019
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    11 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Stress

    This article just came up. Sums up beautifully on how to let go.

    #66141
    sandy
    Participant

    Hi pink nails,

    Sorry to hear about your tough times, but I’m glad you shared with me. I guess we should both listen to your dad and remember that nothing is permanent. I haven’t been able to talk with anyone about how I feel, outside of the tiny Buddha forum. I did contemplate trying to find a counselor, but I thought I’d put in my best effort to pick myself up And dust myself off first. I’m trying to meditate each night and am finding resources for healing through writing.

    Hi jasmine-

    Thanks again for responding. I realize that I’m very fixed on outcomes and change is very hard for me. I don’t really go with the flow, at least not in terms of unexpected things. I’d love to not just be more accepting, but also more self aware of my rigid tendencies.

    I would like to find a way to learn how to live for myself instead of others… I think without the others in my picture, I’m finding it hard to have a reason for living.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.