Dear Sneha,

I feel your pain, i really do – i have been in a similar situation before in a previous relationship that last for 5.5 years. Now i am again in a long-distance one and it is difficult too but the previous relationship has taught me some valuable lessons. You guys have been together for so long and i know every couple is different but i feel i can provide you some insight on how to cope.

This might sound quite contrary to usual advice but you guys have to cut down on skype – i know that makes zero sense to you since you are feeling so sad about not being able to see him for a year. But trust me, instead of seeing eachother on skype everyday, try to focus on other things – maybe skype every alternate day (try that for a while). On nights/times you dont skype, make it a point to hang out with your girlfriends, read a book, go out for dinner, watch a movie, perhaps go to a concert or just do something fun – maybe go on a mini two-day weekend trip!

The more you focus on what you dont have and cant change, keep seeing it every day thereby channeling your focus there, you will feel down – do you really think you can be productive if you’re sad? Instead of viewing your internship as a curse, think of it as a wonderful chance – dont you wanna do good for your further career?

Its gonna be hard but it doesnt have to be this bad! Tell him to start getting much busier as well. My current boyfriend is working now and i am about to join PG. He volunteers in the weekends, goes for swimming and tennis classes and sometimes, he is involved in photography one-day outs (you travel to a nearby place and take photos). As for me, i am enjoying being at home – i love cooking, going for walks, reading books and of course 😛 studying cuz i have entrance exams! yesterday, my sister came over and we spent 2.5 crazy hours trying to bake cookies! I didnt talk to him the whole day but we were on instant messenger maybe 5-10 mins. By the time it got late and i could finally talk to him, though we were so tired, it didnt feel bad 🙂 it was just nice to see him for those short 5 minutes on skype. Then he went to sleep and i stayed up watching my fav TV show. Did i really miss him? Nah! But i wrote him a mail telling him what i was thinking and feeling. When i woke up, he did the same. We havent talked today so far – the school where he volunteers to teach has some meeting.

My point is, enjoy your time with yourself to cherish the time, however little you get with him. I know you are under a lot of pressure but its my heart-felt request that you tell a good friend how you feel and then have a girls day out or some wacky session of make-up, dressing or some silly fun thing. Instead of thinking “oh, its going to be a year and then i will see him again” – think “oh wow, a few more months and then, i will surely see him. Let me focus more on enjoying my life and doing what i love instead of feeling that he just isnt there” You love eachother and this will pass – compared to 5 years, a year is just a tiny part of it.

Stay busy, stay focused and remember – the distance isnt going to hurt you – only lack of love will. You have to believe in that love to make it last and communication is not necessarily only through “speaking” for the heck of it [i know cuz our phone signals suck grr] but by actually finding a way to share your thoughts.

On days i get real sad without him, i allow myself a good cry and listen to songs of love..allow myself to feel that misery and then i write him a long, sad sad mail – then get up, go for a walk or bully my brother or practice guitar a bit till i manage to crack a joke about my condition – “oh sad poet whose muse lives across the ocean – no doves to send my letters – only my heart song”

Additional tip: Plan a movie night together sometime and both of you can download some good flick, keep skype on and just watch it if you have time on the weekend. Perhaps you could send eachother hand-written letters with roses and sweet nothings of love – surprise with that sudden love letter like those romeo-juliet times.

Cheer up dear, i know its not easy but you’ll get your sunshine back!!

{Bdw, you really gotta do some breathing exercises and running to relax or you will be wearing a wig in a few days 😛 Stress aint the best thing for hair, right?}