Home→Forums→Tough Times→Letting it Out …..
- This topic has 348 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 10 months ago by Anonymous.
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August 8, 2021 at 8:34 am #384279AnonymousInactive
I’m excited and nervous to see how things work out for us . The daily routine is being created piece by piece .
Thanks again for reading and responding ! This website is Amazing I actually found a place that I don’t feel like I’m being judged .
August 8, 2021 at 9:09 am #384282AnonymousGuestDear Emily:
I see no reason to judge you: I think of you as a good person and a good mother!
You are very welcome, Emily, and please do post anytime you feel like, about anything you want to talk about.
anita
August 9, 2021 at 8:43 am #384366AnonymousInactiveDear Anita:
I’m curious what is the energy everybody talks about. Let me give you a example . Her energy is bad I don’t want to be around her . People say this about me .Is it because I talk about my problems with them that I haven’t found solutions to , or maybe they can feel when I’m in a bad mood ? When someone hurts me or Im going thru difficult situations that I have to get thru on my own I shut out people who hurt me or can’t help me bcuz I have to push thru it alone . Growing up people ignored me but it only hurt when my family or men I dated did .
This morning, as I was rereading Michael Singer’s excellent book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, the quote above jumped out at me. Singer explains that by closing our hearts because of disappointment, or the trauma of past events, we close ourselves to the flow of energy through us, indeed the flow of life itself. Over time our hearts become constricted.
Picking and choosing when to open and close our hearts may protect us from pain in the moment, but in the long run, we lose out. We sell ourselves short.Much of your pain and trauma is from childhood events, buried deep within us because we needed to protect ourselves as children. But throughout our lives, those experiences and disappointments get triggered in the most unexpected ways. New disappointments also attach to the original trauma and strengthen it. The flow of energy is blocked.
I copied this from the internet but i can relate it’s me . How do I keep my heart open . Another example I have a sibling from my father and a few weeks ago she said that my lips were getting black and my voice was getting deep from smoking I was hurt bcuz I talked to her in the past about my struggles with quitting and that it was a bad habit that I picked up. So I hung the phone and she called me back laughing I did not think it was funny . So I cut contact with her we have nothing in common besides we share the same dad .
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Sarah Jeanne Browne.
August 9, 2021 at 9:22 am #384384AnonymousGuestDear Emily:
Saying that a person has “bad energy” means that being around that person is depressing. I don’t use that term, but this is what I think that people mean when they used this term. My sister used another term in regard to me, “heavy” was the word she used, meaning it was depressing for her to be around me.
“Is it because I talk about my problems with them that I haven’t found solutions to , or maybe they can feel when I’m in a bad mood?“- depends on who you talk to about your problems: some people have little empathy and little patience, so for them if you just talk a bit about your problems, it’s too much for them, and they get bored or depressed. Other people with more empathy and patience, and who are curious about you, will want to hear more about your problems, and will ask you questions so that you tell them more.
“When someone hurt me or I’m going thru difficult situations that I have to get thru on my own I shut out people who hurt me or can’t help me“- it is natural and understandable to shut out people who hurt you. We all need people to help us to go through difficult situations. Things is, we need the right kind of people: those who have empathy and patience for us, and who are curious to know more about who we are. People who are unempathetic and impatient and who are not curious about us- can’t or won’t help us.
“Growing up people ignored me but it only hurt when my family or men I dated did“- it hurts to be ignored. I very much know this hurt myself.
“Singer explains that by closing our hearts because of disappointment, or the trauma of past events, we close ourselves to the flow of energy through us, indeed the flow of life itself…. The flow of energy is blocked“- what this means to me is that the anxiety (this ongoing discomfort, unease, worry), ongoing anger and depression that result from trauma of childhood/ past events are conditions block us from feeling pleasure, joy, trust (in those who are trustworthy), affection, etc.
“How do I keep my heart open“?- The more you express how you feel about the traumatic events that happened to you: in writing (journaling), in drawings/art, in talking about it to empathetic, patient and curious people, and/or in typing it here, on your thread- the more of an opportunity you are giving yourself to lessen the conditions (anxiety, ongoing anger, and/ or depression) that are blocking your experience of occasional joy, trust, affection, etc.
“I have a sibling from my father and a few weeks ago she said that my lips were getting black and my voice was getting deep from smoking I was hurt bcuz I talked to her in the past about my struggles with quitting and that it was a bad habit that I picked up. So I hung the phone and she called me back laughing I did not think it was funny“- no, it is not funny. Like I said, we need people who are empathetic in our lives, not people who think that our hurt is funny!
anita
August 9, 2021 at 10:11 am #384387AnonymousInactiveWow I’m speechless
August 9, 2021 at 11:33 am #384396AnonymousGuestDear Emily:
I like you, Emily. Whenever you have your speech back- you are welcome to speak to me here!
anita
July 3, 2022 at 3:30 pm #403427AnonymousInactiveHi Anita ,
Hi Anita,
I don’t like to be the problem. I smoke weed everyday it’s not something I’m proud of, but it relaxes me or helps me shut off my thoughts to sleep through the night. My landlord threatened to evict me if i didn’t stop i agreed but quitting was a lot harder than i thought. I hate being the problem it bothers me . I worked really hard to move in this apartment .
Good news
I work a full-time job and all my bills are paid.
July 3, 2022 at 4:48 pm #403428AnonymousInactiveI’m working on a better feeling future. I’m in the process of fixing everything that i can think of . Growing up I used to say I wanted to be HAPPY because it was the opposite of SAD but now, I want to feel satisfied and fulfilled within myself. My current job is tuff but i kind of like it I’m a Pre-k3 Teacher ages 3-4. They don’t judge me and actually look forward to seeing me. Sometimes i think im doing really good besides the fact that i still don’t have much of a social life I block alot of people because Im sensitive i don’t want to be the problem I’m not bothering anybody. I also need to find something outside of work and parenting, I’m thinking of something like number painting and a pet weed is not a healthy hobby I’m desperate and don’t want to get bored and depressed.
July 3, 2022 at 6:24 pm #403448AnonymousGuestDear Emily:
I understand your need to relax and shut down your thoughts for the night and using weed to get what you need. I wish that it didn’t get you in trouble with your landlord, too bad that it did.
“Good news I work a full-time job and all my bills are paid” – you are a responsible person and a responsible mother!
“I’m working on a better feeling future. I’m in the process of fixing everything that I can think of . Growing up I used to say I wanted to be HAPPY because it was the opposite of SAD but now, I want to feel satisfied and fulfilled within myself“- it’s beautiful to read this, worded so very well, so much so that I wanted to repeat it here in boldface.
“Sometimes I think I’m doing really good besides the fact that I still don’t have much of a social life“- we all need some social life but it is not easy to find and develop healthy friendships. I guess having decent, friendly acquaintances is a good start.
“I’m thinking of something like number painting and a pet weed is not a healthy hobby I’m desperate and don’t want to get bored and depressed“- I don’t want you to get bored and depressed! Number painting sounds good. What is “a pet weed” exactly?
anita
July 4, 2022 at 3:40 am #403450AnonymousInactiveA pet (cat )
weed – not a healthy hobby
July 4, 2022 at 6:26 am #403452AnonymousGuestDear Emily:
The power of a comma: “I’m thinking of something like number painting and a pet, weed is not a healthy hobby”.
“I smoke weed everyday… it relaxes me or helps me shut off my thoughts to sleep through the night… quitting was a lot harder than I thought… weed is not a healthy habit“, you wrote yesterday.
green camp. com has an article titled “What happens when you smoke weed every day?“. It reads in part: “Long- term effects of smoking weed every day:… Which organ is the most affected when we smoke weed every day? If you answered ‘the brain’, you got it right… A study conducted by researchers at Duke University found a strong correlation between frequent marijuana consumption and cognitive decline…
“Are there any benefits to smoking weed every day?… cannabis is increasingly being used for medical purposes… medical marijuana is consumed differently than the one that we commonly refer to as weed (usually in the form of pills or oil), so you need to keep that in mind as well. If they need to smoke weed for health reasons, people usually do it to relieve stress, anxiety and similar issues. In any case, cannabis can be beneficial when used responsibly and in moderation. That’s our bottom-line.”
“Does weed cause addiction? Consuming marijuana on a regular basis can cause something called cannabis use disorder. If you’ve been smoking it for years on end, it might be very difficult to stop. Trying to quit this habit can cause a range of different withdrawal symptoms including a loss of appetite, irritability, insomnia, and anxiety”.
Thrive works. com: “Several long-term health risks are related to cannabis use disorder, including: Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), Chronic inflammation of the upper respiratory tract and bronchitis… serious upper respiratory infections, such as influenza and rhinovirus, Raised heart rate and blood pressure that can harm people with pre-existing heart disease…
“Long-term use of cannabis is related to amotivation syndrome, which is a gradual shift into indifference and apathy—goals will be unmet, no new goals will be set, everyday tasks will be left unfinished and responsibilities will slowly be neglected… When a person seeks treatment for cannabis use disorder, they have a great chance of stopping its use. Many people realize that using cannabis is hindering them in achieving success, but they’ve been unable to stop on their own…
“Cannabis use disorder is often treated with individual or group therapy following the rational emotive behavior therapy model… People with the disorder learn to recognize, tolerate, and manage their emotions instead of using cannabis to help manage their moods. Psychoeducation is used to challenge the false beliefs individuals have about cannabis use, such as thinking its use causes no harm. This type of education provides factual information about the addiction. Twelve-step groups can also help in recovery in offering support, accounting for the behavior, and motivating the individual to stop cannabis use. In addition, attending 12-step groups can be helpful in replacing the relationships that are harmful (people who continue to use cannabis that the individual used to spend time with) with healthier relationships. The connections with sober, responsible individuals can model healthy behavior and offer incentive and encouragement to help the individual remain free of cannabis”-
– Attending a 12-step group will give you the opportunity to be around people, to have some social life to replace the relationships with people who you blocked, and help with your boredom and depression (“I still don’t have much of a social life I block a lot of people because I’m sensitive… I’m desperate and don’t want to get bored and depressed”, you wrote yesterday).
anita
July 4, 2022 at 1:44 pm #403455AnonymousGuestI forgot to wish you, Emily, Happy Fourth of July!
anita
July 17, 2022 at 3:41 am #404130AnonymousInactiveThanks Anita , Happy belated Fourth of July to you too !
Responding to our last conversation weed does get me in trouble . I also wanted to tell you I passed my Ged Language Arts Exam on 7/16 🎉 . So now I have just Math& Science to pass and I will officially be a High School Graduate.
July 17, 2022 at 7:51 am #404135AnonymousGuestDear Emily:
CONGRATULATIONS for passing the GED Language and Arts Exam yesterday!!! I am proud of you!!!
In regard to the Math and Science portions I will be glad t help you best I can (I used to teach science): any questions you have, any difficult topic, tell me what it is and maybe I can help in the context of this thread.
anita
July 19, 2022 at 2:33 pm #404262AnonymousGuestHow are you, Emily???
anita
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