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Letting Go

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  • September 9, 2014 at 11:46 am #64646
    paz408
    Participant

    Hi TinyBuddha community!

    I have some sadness within and have for many years. People have come and gone in my life and some of those people I miss so much. I guess what I want to know is why society has decided that we have to have people out of our lives and erase them. Some people I just wish so desperately to be in my life at the same time, it’s tough to let go of people you care so much about. I just don’t know why I can’t understand this. Any help would be lovely. Thank you in advance! 🙂

    September 10, 2014 at 4:20 am #64668
    Inky
    Participant

    Well, our society has become very shallow. They don’t understand deep connections much less have them. We are a consumer society as well. If you can’t bring something to the table, then you’re outta there! Oh, and if you’re a girl, you have to look good, too.

    That being said, sometimes the greatest act of love is to get someone out of your life so they can shape up, or to protect your boundaries. (i.e. Not letting a raging alcoholic around your young family, or to cast a friend loose who hits on your spouse).

    Can you revisit your people ten years later for a fresh start? I don’t know your particular story, but enjoy the time you have, even if it’s by yourself for now!

    September 10, 2014 at 5:39 am #64684
    Matt
    Participant

    Jaime,

    Its sounds like you have a real eye for beauty, such as being able to really rest with appreciative joy for the warmth and connection with others. With such an eye, its important to be able to accept the impermanence of experiences. For instance, a flower blooms in our garden, and it is rich with sensual beauty, a treasure. And after a few days, it fades, wilts. As we can accept this, enjoy the beauty as it rises, accept the beauty as it fades, we don’t experience as much grief.

    The same is true of connections with friends and other loved ones. When we are close and dancing with them, there is beauty, richness. And when the song stops, the beauty fades. As we accept this, the appreciation, joy, remains with us no matter what is happening in our present day to day life, and letting go of past blooms becomes simple, like breathing out.

    With warmth,
    Matt

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