Home→Forums→Tough Times→Let her go?
- This topic has 1,011 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 10 months, 2 weeks ago by anita.
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November 23, 2016 at 8:30 pm #121010AnonymousInactive
I’ll try limiting how many…was thinking of 3? What ya mean not paying much attention to her? there was 4 other people there she could have talked to lol. Was the first time in a while I was having some fun for once talking to the women there, flirting. If she did make it? i’d probably drink a few, but would just talk to her and not worry about talking to other people as i’m more interested in her then the other girls, but she’s not interested in me in that way so I don’t think it would matter what I did aslong as I was not an idiot.
November 23, 2016 at 8:42 pm #121011AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I didn’t say it was wrong of you to flirt with the other (younger women) at the club. What I am saying is that you didn’t spend quality one-to-one sober-enough time with her, so it would be better to go to coffee with her: sober and one-to-one.
How many beers/ drinks? Lets say you drink two beers, then take a break, enjoy the mellow feeling and let time go so the alcohol in your blood goes down, then drink another beer and wait. Enjoy the mellow, don’t get another drink until all the mellow is gone.
anita
November 23, 2016 at 9:00 pm #121012AnonymousInactiveYeah I can probably do that. Was not much 1 on 1 time at that other gig the beginning of the month, it was so loud. I like 1 on 1 time with her, much better then group settings. Coffee is perfect for that, or maybe some type of dinner at a quiet place? Her only complaint was it was too loud to talk together, so she said we should go back to the coffees. Fine by me! Although I dunno why but I rarely make her laugh? I don’t find the things to say to her to make her laugh like I do the other girls, even after all this time hanging around her. Would be cool to make her laugh a lot and be a fun guy, that’s how you can get a woman to like you more ontop of being able to keep a conversation going which is still a work in progress. Women everything is a work in progress for me though.
November 24, 2016 at 9:54 am #121049AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
So everyone is on the same page: one-to-one time in a quiet environment, coffee or a quiet meal together is best.
Regarding making her laugh- if you are referring to the women you made laugh during that last gig, it could very well be that they drank enough to laugh easily and that the music, the event put them in a light state of mind. Can be that your friend is uncomfortable sometimes with her digestion (the wheat problem) and is not inclined to laugh in her discomfort.
Plus, you don’t have to make her laugh so that she will like you; she already likes you.
I will be interested to know how the next club event goes for you, how the drink-wait-drink-wait-wait goes for you as well as the flirting with women.
anita
November 24, 2016 at 3:25 pm #121055AnonymousInactiveNaw I mean sober girls, like at my work for example, or other places. Kinda annoying that she keeps talking about my meds and therapy though, but she said to let her know when i’m ready for a coffee. Ball is in my court, but I dunno when i’m going to ask? I’d love to but something just don’t feel right. Maybe i’m just not used to women wanting to have coffee with me, afterall I’ve been single my entire life and never really had friends as I felt unworthy of people and played video games all day long to escape. Nothing will make me happier then to text a lot like we used to, and hang out often…but she’s too busy, and when she’s got days off she has her events and her other friends she can hang out with. She told me a while back when she worked at the job i’m at she used to not have friends, if I knew that back then I would definatly be her friend.
BTW by likes me more I meant more then just a friend, like maybe start getting feelings for me sort of thing, who am I kidding though? we will only be friends lol.
November 24, 2016 at 6:21 pm #121062AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I don’t think it is impossible for you and her to be more than friends, at least, I don’t see a reason why not. She had a depressed boyfriend for a long time… wait, you did write that she had a depressed boyfriend for many years…so why is it impossible for her to have a relationship with another depressed man?
I don’t believe in psychiatric drugs beyond the short term, by the way. These drugs are given on a trial and error basis to relieve symptoms at best, often they work as placebo and side effects are unpleasant. Taking anti depressants as well as other psychiatric drugs for 17 years did nothing at all to improve my life. I finally got off, got into competent psychotherapy and my life is improving. So no, I am not a psych drugs fan.
Make the move to have coffee with her.
anita
November 24, 2016 at 7:33 pm #121068AnonymousInactiveWhat about an isolation tank as my therapy? assuming I go get help, I’ve not decided yet and she said it’s my choice (her capital words that long text convo I posted)…
November 24, 2016 at 7:40 pm #121070AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
What is that..? I started listening to it and it looks like science fiction. I know nothing about whatever it is. No short cuts for healing- if this is what it is.
Going to bed soon, raining here. Be back in twelve hours or so. Be good to yourself, will you?
anita
November 24, 2016 at 7:55 pm #121071AnonymousInactiveLay in an isolation tank filled with water, filled with salt that keeps you floating and the water is the temp as your skin so it feels like you’re weightless, then you think about your life and let go. Not a shortcut, just a different method.
November 25, 2016 at 8:10 am #121110AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Doesn’t seem harmful and quite pleasant, to relax in water, like in a womb, like an unborn baby in a womb, weightless, comfortable, not having to do anything or be anywhere. Then it is pushed out and it appropriately cries for the first time.
anita
November 25, 2016 at 3:26 pm #121156AnonymousInactiveI think she really wanted to go tonight, ahwell there will be other times next year, plus I can setup some get togethers and plan to eat at her work with a buddy next month aswell. It’s nice getting texts from her everyday now. 🙂 I text her i’ll record a few minutes of our buddies show and send it to her, she said ok. The people at my work I have shown pictures of the coffee mug I bought her that’s on the way now all said they loved the look of it, it really does look like a nice mug though and i’m sure she will love it and thanks for the idea! All that matters for me is to see her smile and know it made her happy, not the actual gift itself.
I had to shave my beard off today, I messed it up trimming it. She was glad I did. 🙁 Oh it’s coming back! 😀
November 25, 2016 at 8:18 pm #121164AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I am smiling at the idea that My idea gathered flesh and blood in the form of a mug! I am… thrilled imagining you giving her the mug that I thought about. But it is you that made a thought become a reality. Am I too excited about this? Maybe. Sure hope she will be. I think she will. ‘
Glad the texting has been daily lately. Shaved off the beard, she likes that you did, but you will not accommodate her preference, being your own man, the one in charge of your face and what grows on it. I like it, you being your own man!
anita
November 25, 2016 at 11:01 pm #121167AnonymousInactiveYeah, that day I give her the mug will be an awesome day!
Well…went to my buddies gig alone, had 1 beer and he handed me a free beer that they get given to all the bands. So I had 2 total, didn’t really have that feeling, maybe because I was not drunk? but no flirting with the girls or chatting with people this time. Hope next year will be different, will get drunk and flirt and mingle again. Recorded a few clips for her to watch and text them to her, now to get some sleep. I’ll bump this thread when we have our coffee, so in a week or so.
November 26, 2016 at 6:28 am #121170AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
So you didn’t get the mellow feeling after one or two beers? Maybe next time. Nice you recorded a few clips for her to watch. Till your next post, take good care of the No-beard, Two beers (this rhymes) blkhwkdwn1.
anita
November 29, 2016 at 4:42 pm #121516AnonymousInactiveJust want to say I got her mug in the mail today, just need the honey from some organic store. Hopefully she works on Xmas eve, it’s a Friday and that’s when i’ll drop in. I was thinking if I should write her something aswell? to show my appreciation for her, something from the heart? i’d show you the mug but her family is Buddhist and might be posters on here or follow this forum for all I know and that name of hers they will know right away who it is (yes I am this paranoid lol). Still not messaged her for the coffee she wants to have, still not sure if i’m going to…nor am I sure if i’m going to do what she wants and get into therapy, or visit the doctor, or take meds. Saw her yesterday at her work though for a few mins as I was in the area, it was kinda awkward trying to figure out what to say, lots of silences went on. Oh and my god she looked so good, like wow!!! Then after a few minutes she had to go to a table so i peaced out and she came in for the hug. We have not text since Friday morning after doing it everyday for 3 days. 🙁 The person online i got the mug made from said this was her favourite mug she’s ever made, so i’ll be sure to let her know of this aswell, so that smile can be seen by whoever is around her.
Here comes Santa!
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