I also think you would really like her. She says be your authentic self, don’t be anyone else and do/say what you want, don’t hide it, don’t change for other people, just be your true self. Anyway I am going to crash (nap), i’m so tired right now…must have been all that air from the beach.

Thanks, I hope we will have more of those meetings too and I bet we will. When we hang out and go for walks we get pretty close like this, sat side by side with leg touching leg. I was feeling awkward, but it was pretty intense, talked about a lot of stuff including stuff I never posted because it’s just between the 2  of us and I don’t wanna betray her trust as we have been through a lot over the past 2 years and some change and I will feel guilty because of it. I wont talk about the private stuff but it was a pretty fun time. I’ll text her tomorrow morning and tell her I had fun time and it’s made me feel a tiny bit better and I’ll call her next week sometime and let her know she can call me anytime if she wants to talk, even over a bad day or a good day and that i’d love to talk to her.

She had her hands all over one of my legs and my arms showing me teqniques she does to people for her job, showing me points on her body lifting her shirt in different directions to get at them (she almost showed me her boobs a few times doing this), talked about her ex and what he’s still going through, he still lives with her but they aren’t together and never will be (long story), daughters moving out. Mom is sorta happy about that, she wants to live alone. Told me when her mom gets that yoga stuff up and running that I should totally give it a try…would be a long drive and will probably be like 3 hours, so I said why not? i’m down to try new things…I need to. told me when I am ready to give her a shout and book an appointment with her for an hour. Talked about her things she went through at the hospital, that she will pay me back in sections, my feelings I needed to get out there, did some of her yoga, did pressure points and followed along like tapping on them and saying “i love myself” and that sorta stuff, which I struggled with, how what I did for her is why she’s at the job she loves and  has wanted for years, how  she now has time for spending around the people that matter to her now. It was intense, never actually been around something like this. She liked my text I gave her on thanksgiving wishing her and all of her family well.

On the way back to my place (she even parked and we talked for like 10 minutes) we talked about she would like me to come with her to do African drumming when she goes, so I said why not? sure. Told her any events she goes to and invites me i’ll come, also asked about the other concert she invited me to and if anyone went? nobody did, but i’ll go to the next one for sure. Also if there are events I will go to like some martial arts ones and there is a free class to try it out she will join me. Told me I should start getting into planks everyday and try and improve over time and keep her updated on my progress and for the both of us to better our nutrition. We also hugged a few times and I left to get inside the house. Now I’ll just message her tomorrow morning and phone her next week sometime later.

Was a great time! I’ll probably leave for a while and come back to update what is going on. Hope this becomes a nice long friendship where we can say whatever we want to eachother (nice things only) and just have a deep meaningful connection. I don’t want something fake…looking for something real, real friends and real connections.

While I am away I hope you have great expieriences out in the world and I wish you well.

Thank you. 🙂 Messaged her today that I had fun the other day and was feeling a tiny bit better and I’ll call her next week. Made her glad I was feeling a tiny bit better and to call her next Friday and that she wants to stay in touch with me, also that she had such a nice time with me at the beach. I was full blown depressed last night and this morning though, I was really feeling low. My sister is back trying to scam me for money again. I helped her out with a big bill and she said she will pay me back but all she wants is to suck my dry of all my money, I can’t deal with that shit…I WONT deal with that.

Until the update, keep well Anita.

Don’t mean to bump this right now as there is not much to update except the 31 minute phone call (she told me to call her anytime I want, I told her you too) and i’ve been struck by a HUGE depression, even permenently deleted my facebook and it’s left me crying all the time, but that’s about it.

I was mostly curious as this has been on my mind, how do I grow the friendship? doing a lot of thinking and looking back at our previous conversations on my old phone which I made back at page 25 when she was going through her tough time with the 2 blood clots and gallstone problems and that day on the bench talking freely about stuff with no nervousness and I could not be bothered to text her that much (1 month at a time) because I felt really close to her. I was thinking…what happened to that and how do I get the both of us back to being that close? also that day at the bench she was talking about she has some aquantances she hangs around every now and then and was looking for some close friends, which I said “maybe me” and she smiled. I dunno what happened? maybe that’s not a normal friend closeness long term? But man, I really wish I could get back to summer of 2017 because that type of communication is what I want in friends instead of this 2 times a year hangout aquantance stuff. We talked monthly, hung out monthly, text back and fourth weekly then monthly when everything was good. I sure do miss those days, I did text her today if she is up for roller blading when it gets warmer (spring), she said maybe at some point, maybe ask if she wants company when she goes to the laundry mat to wash the clothes? hikes or something. I just want that feeling back even if I did complain still about things. Definatly the best summer of my life (told the woman my best day was when she came with me to the docs, then the walk after and she liked that a lot) even if it was on not so good terms for her, but then it was because she was happy to have 4 months off work. I’m  phoning her before she goes away for 5 days at the end of Nov and wishing her a safe happy journey, then I will tell her to call me next in Dec because I don’t want to be the only one who texts and  phones (makes me feel bad knowing I am doing the work only) but I REALLY want this to be like it used to and just need advice. I know she does not feel the same way, she always says whatever happens just go with it. I can’t even go on meetup.com and sign up to those groups, even the social anxiety group. Also looking back in this thread when I donated all that money to that girl and that woman I talk about said she cried? and I told her I would do that for you too if you ever were in trouble, realized I followed my word lol.

Friendship is hard but it sure is rewarding if you got the right person.