Home→Forums→Tough Times→Let her go?
- This topic has 1,011 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 2 weeks ago by anita.
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January 14, 2017 at 8:36 am #125235AnonymousGuest
Dear blkhwkdwn1:
May be a very good idea! A new life away from everyone you know, the same old-same-old, in the middle of nowhere-
Where may that be, the middle of nowhere?
anita
January 14, 2017 at 8:51 am #125237AnonymousInactiveAnywhere, far away at some place isolated and I can be alone. Learn what I need to learn away from all this distractions. Probably some place in the woods.
January 14, 2017 at 9:57 am #125242AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
May be a very good idea, a black hawk down 1 nesting in the woods…
anita
January 14, 2017 at 3:25 pm #125253AnonymousInactiveSo should I text her if she wants to talk tonight? also if she likes to talk on the phone? I’ll try slowing my roll down on what I want out of this as she does not want the same thing. Just ask her the questions and tell her if we can not talk about my problems anymore, I really don’t wanna talk about them. It’s a good way to drain people, all I have ever wanted was to know her better and not have our talks be about my depression. That should be saved for professionals, not your friends. Especially if they are deep…just have good times together getting to know eachother better and better and be there for eachother, also hanging out face to face is pretty critical in a friendship which is why I visit her a lot at her job, it’s been a month now since we had our last coffee and don’t want to have 1 every 2-3 months. Problems should be solved on your own, afterall they are your own problems…YOUR OWN. I never bring them up, it’s always her and i’m not confident enough voice to voice telling someone to drop it please.
January 14, 2017 at 5:29 pm #125254AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Sounds good to me, telling her what you expressed, that is being assertive, being the authentic you, absolutely a good approach and practice. Tell her you want to learn about her, after all, what is better for depression than getting to know another person, getting out of the me-me-me and what-to-do-about-me, and instead learn about someone else, someone you like and would like to know more about…?!
You can tell her to drop it please and re-direct the talk otherwise to what you want to talk about, ask and share.
Do you want to write down a general draft for the planned conversation, a couple of questions to ask her, to have in front of you if the conversation takes place?
anita
January 14, 2017 at 5:40 pm #125256AnonymousInactiveYeah i’ll try writing it down. I’m about to have another fit right now, so i’ll write it down after it’s done. Hopefully i’m not bugging her as I’ve been texting her quite often lately.
January 14, 2017 at 5:52 pm #125258AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
What fit? What if you just call her instead of texting- call and say: “Is it a good time?”
anita
January 14, 2017 at 6:00 pm #125259AnonymousInactiveThe fit that makes me lose my mind. Want to smash my head into things, scream on the top of my lungs, get hammered! lay on my bed an cry, starve myself, convince myself i’m worth jack all, lose it in a rage of anger aswell. That fit. I’m guessing she’s working as she’s not text me since I text her at 430 and it’s 6 now.
January 14, 2017 at 6:57 pm #125261AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Oh, THAT fit. I know that fit. Except the starve myself- I binged in fits. Starved later to compensate.
And it is almost seven pm now.
anita
January 14, 2017 at 7:09 pm #125263AnonymousInactiveWent to the liquor store and bought a 15 pack of Budweiser, I could not take it anymore! Feel better now that i’m drinking. Time to write down what i’m going to say. Hopefully she calls tonight.
January 14, 2017 at 7:11 pm #125265AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Drink just enough to feel calmer, mellow, pace yourself. Let me know how you are doing, if you called and if you didn’t.
anita
January 14, 2017 at 7:38 pm #125268AnonymousInactiveAlright I wrote on paper:
I want to learn more about you.
– 5 year goals
– 10 year goals
– Dreams
– Plans
– What you like about your life
– What you would changeJanuary 14, 2017 at 8:02 pm #125271AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
The five year and ten year goal, not for a phone conversation and not at night time- it is too much for this late in the evening. It takes too much thinking, unless she has it written down herself.
The other questions are good, one would be enough to ask at one night and according to how she answers, if she is in the mood, ask more. My favorite question in your list is: What do you like about your life? And What you would change. I definitely like these two. If she is sleepy you can ask her about her dreams (for the future, not real night dreams, although this is also a possibility!)
Plans, I think you know, go live in the … the boonies, I think you called it, grow her own food.
anita
January 14, 2017 at 8:37 pm #125276AnonymousInactiveUgh…she’s got company tonight, so no she said.
January 15, 2017 at 8:22 am #125292AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Got to have something for yourself, something meaningful to do when that happens, and it does happen a lot (her not being available for you)-
Other than computer games; other than … how do you spend your time after work?
anita
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