Anita i’ll still be here, just not FB. I’ll miss not hanging out with her and texting her but I figure once I get my shit together and finally one day in the future when we meet up in person it will be an amazing day of seeing her again. The first day we went to the docs to tell him I was suicidal and was looking for anti depressants we first met up for coffee for an hour almost, then after the appointment drove to Dallas road for a walk to talk, then we went down to the beach and along the rocks and sat down next to eachother talking and listening to the ocean. She posted on her FB that it was a good day after I posted it was a great day but she was going to post that anyway, she NEVER posts messages but only shares things on her wall, so we had a pretty awesome day together. She even took my picture as we both connected that day and were in the moment so to speak.

Mommalicious I feel that way too just talking to people about my problems, I feel as if i’m just a whiner and who cares about my problems, more important things out there then my feelings. Glad it helped you though, i’ll stick around aswell.

Saw her today at work as she was doing some shoppping, we talked a little and gave eachother a huge hug. She was confused what I meant when I text her “was looking for 30 more for a reason”, then told her it was to overdose. She said it’s very serious I talk to the doc when I see him next and tell him the truth what my plans were that day and to see if i can get to see a Psychiatrist and that she’s very happy I told her this. So next time I see the doc i’ll tell him the truth about that day. Just hope he does not freak out and get me put into some type of crazy hospital ward.

Thread has pretty much run its coarse. It was about that girl but decided to keep her around, but lied to her and I don’t want to base our friendship around lies and deceit or it’s a doomed friendship so I’ve decided to take a break from her out of respect and work on myself, then one day maybe near summer time get into contact with her again. In the meantime i’ll go to councelling and take my anti depressants. Aswell as work on losing my weight…lost 35 pounds last month alone and finally reached under 200 for the first time since my early 20’s. Also want to get into Boxing and Muay Thai, so hopefully when we meet up again i’ll be a changed man. Also keep up donating to charity and helping people out as much as I can because I don’t want to live this life for my selfish self and needs, but make people happy everywhere I go. We only got 1 life, so make an impact.

Thanks, i’ll have to keep those in mind when looking.

Take care of yourself aswell. I’ll definatly update this thread when I start speaking to her again. Speaking of her, she was at my work again, we hugged again. Untill then i’ll try posting every now and then in other places.