Texting is what i’m most comfortable with, I lack the social skills outside of my job. If I could call her and we talk for a long time say 3 days a week? i’d gladly give up most of the texting and just use it for small things once and a while. What I can’t do though is contact someone say once a month, it would feel so fake barely at all keeping in touch.

Now that i’m getting older and got no closeness to people, no real friends I can talk with, no family I can turn to and i’m alone in my thoughts and people my age (she’s 5 years older then me) rather hang around their families then their friends i’m pretty much running out of options and realize i’m likely going to be alone and depressed until i’m gone. No friends, no family, nobody to turn to, nobody to hang with, no girls to have coffee with and talk for hours. Just alone in the dark getting more sour with each year, soon i’ll likely stop helping people.

As for the more recent texts, mostly just me trying to talk to her and she gives me a line or 2 and nothing else. Like the last time before today we text was boxing day, then yesterday I text her since I never responded back to her other many texts so I can later.

Me: Good that you had no arguments, was it good talking to gramma and the other side of the family?
Her: Yep all is good 🙂
Her: Hope yours was nice buddy
Me: Mine was ok, not close to anyone in my family. Jay told me he wants to go to your work next weekend asked me to come so might seeya next week.
Me: UFC tonight, who wins main event? Rousey or Nunes?

Nothing…then today.

Me: Hey what you doing for new years this year?
Her: Working till 930/10 🙁 then going to countdown with all my fam at my moms 🙂 🙂
Her: You?
Me: Nice i’m doing nothing. The ultimate party animal
Me: I AM the ultimate party animal
Me: Hey was wondering what yoga you do? Was it the one you showed me with tapping the ground? Might try getting into that as i’m giving insanity another go for 2 months before I head back to the mountain.
Me: Figured i’d try it out so if you still wanna go up the mountain with me in March we can try it at the top if you want. Have a great new years, may the great spirit keep you guys safe and no arguments again.

That’s pretty much it…it never used to be like this, she actually used to enjoy going back and fourth, even with that job. But now it’s exhausting, she’s not into really wanting to keep in touch with me anymore, atleast by text. No other way, I might just say so long to her soon. It’s killing me so much inside going through this.

Alright it’s officially 2017, Happy New Year! I’ll try giving it 1 more shot, but via phone. If this fails, then there really is not much I can do anymore. I’ll ask her if she can phone me aswell so it’s not like the text thing and only me trying, she can phone me on her days off, before/after work. I was watching a video about friendships and it says face to face time is important, so is using the phone and that going by via text or email only and stuff is a way to let the friendship die. I’ve kinda been just going off text, not much else I could have done as her work hours are weird. Coffee every 3 months is a no for me, that’s like way too far apart, she lets me know when things are also too far apart. Like when we had dinner she thought a month was too far away to have a coffee but that was back in November I think? or the mountain thing during our last coffee 2 weeks ago? thought 2 month wait was too far away but it’s really cold as I got to bike there and back, she drives. Fine by me waiting aslong as she’s wanting to go up with me a few times a month perhaps, then a coffee every month aswell? or more then once a month as she wanted to have a coffee with me less then a month later. Takes 20 minutes to walk up the mountain, another to drive there and back so 40 minutes a month.

I’m pretty sure i’d stop eating again if I ended our friendship. I don’t WANT to end it, but I’ve noticed that for the past month she would sometimes take a day to respond back to me, now lately she just doesn’t respond back to me when I ask her questions. When I told her after giving her that gift “that’s all that text was about” she said “Oh I was busy and never saw it” I was thinking it was BS in my head. Looking back at the texts since that early November concert that I walked her to her car she responds back hours and hours later, whereas before that concert it was 30 minutes or less, normally within 10 minutes. Like I said, if the phone thing is a flop this friendship is done. Weird thing is Xmas day texting and boxing day texting seemed like things were good, lots of communication if you wanna see it.