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Let her go?

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Viewing 15 posts - 166 through 180 (of 1,012 total)
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  • December 13, 2016 at 1:35 pm #122639
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Alright no blizzard joke. 🙁 Back to playing some counter strike on my PC.

    December 13, 2016 at 5:54 pm #122647
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Good. Hope you enjoyed your counter strike!
    anita

    December 14, 2016 at 11:33 am #122698
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Yeah my team thought I was cheating, was doing well.

    December 14, 2016 at 11:38 am #122699
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Good. This is Wednesday- I thought your coffee date with her is this Wednesday, isn’t it?

    anita

    December 14, 2016 at 1:24 pm #122710
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    5 more minutes.

    December 14, 2016 at 1:29 pm #122720
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    By the time you get this, I think you will be out the door. Do let me know how it goes- hope you remember the talking tips.

    anita

    December 14, 2016 at 3:47 pm #122736
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It was not the greatest, barely knew what to say. She’s leaving in a year though, far far away.

    December 14, 2016 at 4:50 pm #122740
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Ok I got there and waited for her, she was 2 minutes late. We had a coffee and talked about her daughters dancing, my depression, yoga, meditation, etc etc. There was A LOT of times I was not talking, I just had nothing to say. It was short, only an hour and a half. She said she would go up the mountain I walk up a few times with me, but I said in March although she said that was too far away but that’s when i’m going back when it’s warmer. Also that she’s moving in a year with her daughter very far away to the boonies, will probably take me 6 hours to get there from where I am, also that those times about the pills scared her because she was not sure what I was going to do with them, and she also says she’s not sure if I knew but she’s trying slowly to push herself away to not get into this so much with me, and that I need to be working on myself on my own and to text her every now and then to say hey. I felt so uncomfortable talking to her, and I did not get happy like those other times I hung around her. Then she drops me off at work and now i’m depressed like you would not believe. It was pretty much a bust of a time together IMO, I just didn’t know what to really say, or do, or act. I just sat there going “yeah”. Does not help my nose is still plugged and it’s hard to pronounce anything. I never did tell her we should do this again, doubt i’m going to ask again. Also told her I don’t plan on getting the meds again or talking to anyone.

    I feel worse now then I did back in September! I also don’t feel no friendship or anything towards her, it’s like she’s just floating away and i’m watching. I mean she does barely text me anymore…and said to text her every now and then. Think once I give her that gift she wont hear from me very often…I miss those days I felt amazing when I was around her and she would always text me, now? like I said, floating away…

    December 14, 2016 at 6:41 pm #122745
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Disappointing. I don’t know what to write. I typed and deleted. Don’t have anything positive to say because I stick to reality and not to wishful thinking. No reasonable hope for close friendship or a romantic relationship, not with “text me once in a while to say ‘hey'”. How are you feeling right now, please let me know- will be waiting for your reply.

    anita

    December 14, 2016 at 7:01 pm #122748
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I feel pretty destroyed, not even a hug she wanted to give me not that I asked or attempted to give her. I said back in November something changed after the buddies gig, she had a problem me walking her to her car. I guess our friendship changed because something from that night? Even if she says nothing happened but even her texting to me died off by a lot after that night. What does it seem like to you?

    December 14, 2016 at 7:22 pm #122750
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    It seems to me that at the beginning she was being a charitable person, being there for you in your time of need. Reading the texts you posted here and interacting with you, seeing you (in my mind’s eye) as an attractive person, desirable for a relationship, I was hoping she was seeing that too, or that she will see it as well.

    Her comment today, that you “need to be working on myself on my own and to text her every now and then to say hey.” is not at all promising.

    But then, you didn’t approach her that way, you didn’t present yourself to her as interested in her that way, did you? Potentially, it could have started as her charity toward a troubled man and developed into more and more. It didn’t.

    What are you going to do now?

    anita

    December 14, 2016 at 7:41 pm #122752
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Almost bed time for me- let it be bed time for you too? Go to sleep on this. In the morning things will seem more clear and not so bad. Really, nothing has changed- she wasn’t your close friend before today and she still isn’t. Nothing is different today in real life, except that you (and I) are less hopeful, that is all.

    Get some rest. That distress you feel, endure it. You will feel better in the morning. Hope to read from you when I am back in about 12 hours, or less.

    anita

    December 14, 2016 at 7:54 pm #122753
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’ve never told her I liked her in that way and I never will, i’m too messed up even though it hurts a lot keeping this to myself. I’d give anything to be able to text like we used to but she already made it clear she does not want to text me because she’s too busy and does not like texting, even on her days off when she’s not busy…like today? she was just at home chilling even though she said she is thinking of taking her FB off her phone because she’s on it too much and just have it on her computer, like I said before I think she just looking for a way to stop messaging me. I don’t find that she thinks i’m attractive though, she just says those things to be nice. Like I had a hoodie under my big jacket and she liked it and said my beard looks better because she can see me now. I have also been bummed out all day about her slowly floating away which can be another reason why I was so silent today I guess. I dunno why the friendship has to die, it’s not like i’m this way in real life, you’d just think i’m a normal happy person because that’s the way I want people to know me as, now at how I truly feel.

    I dunno what is left to do now…I still got Friday and I already bought her that xmas present but I might not do that whole candy canes thing, just give her the present and leave her life like she wants me to.

    December 14, 2016 at 8:01 pm #122754
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Also does not help when my dad keeps treating me like shit. He said she will cancel and think “ohwell not like I was missing much anyway” and that it was 90 minutes too long, meaning she should not have wasted time on me.

    December 15, 2016 at 7:20 am #122768
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I am a bit clearer this morning than I was last night in my last post to you. In your last mention of computer gaming, you wrote that you were engaged in a counter strike. You made your character strike (verb) and cause a counter strike (noun), correct? In life, like in the game, if you don’t perform an action (a verb, a strike), you don’t have the result (a noun).

    So, this woman, a decent, lovely woman, from all your accounts, tried to help you, support you during your time of great need. That was admirable. Following, you (and I) wished you had a CLOSER friendship than one based on helping/ being helped. I wished it would develop into an intimate relationship because you expressed such sentiment and I like you. Such a development would require action/ verbs to materialize.

    Yesterday, you said “yeah” and there was no meaningful conversation. You didn’t ask her questions, she didn’t answer, you didn’t listen to her answers and asked her more questions; she didn’t feel listened to, understood and so no closeness was happening.

    Without new closeness happening, not much is likely to happen- you give her the xmas present (a precious gift, I think she will always think of you when seeing that mug) and “Let her go” (title of your thread).

    Nothing further will happen unless you make it happen. Without action, there will be no results (With action, there may or may not be, but at least there will be a possibility).

    Regarding your father making comments about her- you shared with him about her? If he is the critical, yelling, abusive person that he is, why give him material to use against you?

    I wish you moved away from him. How can you get better living with abuse, disrespect?

    I know you left before and returned, and he told you that if you leave again, you will be back again. But he cannot predict the future.

    anita

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