Home→Forums→Tough Times→Let her go?
- This topic has 1,011 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 2 weeks ago by
anita.
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December 7, 2016 at 12:35 pm #122183
AnonymousInactiveI never think i’m worth anyones time. People invite me to do things with them sometimes but I normally decline. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just I don’t feel worthy of being around people. I’m stuck here at my PC being miserable all the time wishing I was someone else, but it’s a habit at this point. Girls think i’m fun to be around and i’m always making them laugh, guys always seem to like being around me, but I don’t like being around me. I can have the biggest smile, turn around and walk away only to have the biggest frown and go completely quiet. I can go from wanting everyone I meet to always be happy and trying to make them happy to getting lost in my thoughts and filled with nothing but hate for myself all in the blink of an eye. So I just lock myself away in my room, it’s better this way.
December 7, 2016 at 12:42 pm #122187AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I agree that it is better that you stay in your room than socializing by faking it! To thine own self be true.
Be true to who you are, be authentic. When I wrote that you are worthy, I wasn’t referring to the fake you but to the authentic you. When you wrote that you don’t like being around you, no wonder. I don’t think anyone likes being around their fake self.
I hate to be around me each and every time I feel fake, like when I smile because I “am supposed to” and not because I really feel like smiling.
anita
December 7, 2016 at 12:54 pm #122191AnonymousInactiveMaking girls laugh, being fun to be around, wanting everyone to be happy and all the stuff I do is actually the authentic me, I actually mean to do them and enjoy doing those things. Like when I hand her that Christmas present wearing the Santa beard but i’ll say “Pat said there is only 1 condition, and that’s to see that big beautiful smile you’re known for having” and hand out candy canes to everyone in the resturaunt? then when I get a few beers into me and walk outside with less anxiety walk around the mall with that Santa beard on handing candy canes to everyone I walk by, that’s actually the real me and I feel like it’s my true me and I been doing nice things for people since I was a little kid. I enjoy people and their happiness, I just don’t enjoy myself.
December 7, 2016 at 1:06 pm #122193AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Keep that authentic behavior then, only include yourself in it, that is, hand yourself the candy, so to speak (not literally since you wrote you are trying to lose weight).
Keep “doing nice things for people”- only include yourself in “people.”
There is nothing wrong with you, blkhwkdwn1, no reason you should be an exception to your own authentic behavior.
anita
December 10, 2016 at 10:10 am #122408AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Almost three days since our last correspondence and I am wondering how you are feeling, having been sick? Still on sick leave… feeling better? Taking good care of yourself, I hope.
anita
December 10, 2016 at 8:04 pm #122424AnonymousInactiveBeen feeling pretty worn down. I put an 8 hour at work today, was hard to get through but I did it! Not talked to that woman since Wednesday. Planning to hopefully bring 5 (4 guys 1 girl) people with me to visit her hopefully on Friday next week. I’ll message her on Monday, still recovering though. Sucks she doesn’t like texting, would love to text her all the time like I used to before she got her job. But I guess that’s what phones are for? but she’s always busy, will likely never pick up or call back.
December 11, 2016 at 7:29 am #122430AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
You did it: eight hours work when still sick. This is evident to your strength and residence. Her dislike of texting- makes me think of my great dislike to using the phone as a way to communicate, don’t like it. I have one of those fancy phones and I hardly ever use it. This, right there, the written word is my preferred communication mode.
So you’ll text her Monday and go see her Friday. Get better, do take time from work of if you need to, especially if the temperature problem there wasn’t resolved!
anita
December 11, 2016 at 3:27 pm #122468AnonymousInactiveThe feelings I’ve felt for that woman have definatly died off A LOT since I started getting back into playing video games again, which I really wanted to give up because once they take over I ignore EVERYTHING else, also noticed nobody texts me anymore. I guess in a way it’s good my feelings have died off a lot? nothing was ever going to happen, plenty of other fish in the sea. Still, I feel as if I could go back and relive those moments I had with her I felt great? i’d do whatever to relive them. It beats out any of those emotions I get playing video games by A LOOOOOOOOTTTTT.
December 11, 2016 at 5:59 pm #122472AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
* I noticed I wrote “residence” instead of resilience in the first line of my previous post to you.
I think your feelings for her are not dead, just on vacation, or on computer-game break, that is all, Feelings don’t stay the same, no matter what. Gone today, back tomorrow; strong the week after, weak the next and so on.
Enjoy your computer games, you deserve enjoying yourself!
anita
December 12, 2016 at 3:21 pm #122543AnonymousInactiveWednesday at 1:30PM at serious coffee. I work 6-1 that day, so i’ll walk to the coffee shop after and meet her. Hopefully it’s a long one, need to write down some things to talk about as it’s going to be boring talking about the same thing over and over again everytime we see eachother. Looking at the texts history, we have BARELY got any texts down this month. Guess i’m going to have to get used to this now not getting very many texts from her like I used to. Not that texts are a huge thing, but i’m a texter! and there is no other way of communicating with her and i’m not much of a phone person because I hate the sound of my voice with a passion. Text or face to face is my thing because I can’t understand NOT wanting to talk to a woman face to face. I’ll just worry about my video games until the new year then start working out again.
December 12, 2016 at 7:51 pm #122567AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Two more days to your coffee time. How can you prepare to have a good time there? Can we prepare for it? If you don’t want to talk about the same things, don’t. Steer the conversation away from depression and psych drugs (these are the same old topics, aren’t they?)
And need not it be awkward, so planning is required… How about preparing a few questions to ask her, questions she may want to answer, be glad to answer, feel a relief for having the opportunity to answer?
Be back to computer in twelve hours or so.
anita
December 12, 2016 at 10:20 pm #122577AnonymousInactiveYeah i’ll have some things to ask her, i’ll also visit her at her job Friday with hopefully 6 people to eat.
December 13, 2016 at 11:00 am #122616AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
During the coffee date, ask her, maybe, about her dreams and plans- what she likes about her life, what she would like to change? If you ask her a question and she seems uncomfortable, let it go. If she seems interested in answering, maybe excited as she speaks, let her talk and ask more question in the direction she responds positively to.
And listen to what she says, get lost in what she says (instead of planning what you will say next!)
Let her talk and listen.
anita
December 13, 2016 at 1:10 pm #122635AnonymousInactive^ Thanks, i’ll try it out. I’m about 97% done this cold now, just got a tiny bit left of a stuffy nose. Told her seeya Wednesday unless we have a blizzard, I might just text her “looks like a blizzard is coming” just for fun. It’s sunny and blue skies outside right now.
December 13, 2016 at 1:24 pm #122637AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Don’t mess with the coffee date (by the blizzard joke)!
3% to go.
anita
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