Hello again and again

I posted here before about a person i love and he love me , we met on Facebook and we didn’t see each other till now and he refused to have a serious relationship.

actually at that time he was telling me sometimes that he have a depression and anxiety and he is a negative person and he don’t want to commit because he don’t have hope about the future.

And i thought that it’s not illness , i thought it’s just some bad days.. sometimes he is pulling me away and don’t want to talk to me. so i said here before that i told him to stop flirting and talk once a day. he accepted that but he was not happy so i felt like i’m not happy too.. we stopped flirting but we knew that we still love each other. and for me even though i met a lot of people and most of the time i’m busy i think about him but never call him too much.

so he talked to me and i felt that he is missing me but i was acting like a friend.. talking to him friendly and trying not to text him a lot.. one day i hurt him by telling him that he is a player because he was confused

i felt a little bit guilty because he really looks like he needed me so i end up with telling him how much i love him and i said that because i was angry. he also told me how much he love me.

i searched about depression and suddenly i found literally all the symptoms that my man had.. sometime feeling like he don’t want to talk , choosing not to commit in a relationship , hopeless about the future and a lot of things.

at that time i felt like i want to kill my self for what i said.. and i knew that i hurted him sooooo much! and i was afraid that he may suicide!!

so i also felt like i want to help him because he is so kind and he love me.. gentleman and always honest! and the most important thing is i love him so much!! his personality.. thinking.. voice.. face.. laugh.. everything!! and whenever i talk to him i feel so happy and at least comfortable and safe! so i told him that i’m sorry about not taking care of him and i’m gonna stay no matter what , and we gonna face that depression together and asking for another chance.

i see the future with him.. when i see that despite of his depression and negativity he see the beautiful things in life.. details.. he enjoy a coffee or a books , he sometimes say things that shows me that he is an optimist guy without that depression! i feel and i believe like one day we are gonna be together traveling the world as a happy lovers or couple. so i felt like i’m gonna lose i diamond or lose my soulmate.

i want to know if i did the right thing or not? (i’m aware that he may ”infect” me that depression but i feel like i’m strong enough to protect my self.

And i want to know if you can help me or telling me how to support him in long distance because he said that he really appreciate physical contact but he still want to me to be there.

sorry for talking too much.