Dear Prasanth,

I have read through the entire post. Some thoughts come to my mind :-

You are very dependant on others and the occurance of certain situations to validate your quality as a person.

You don’t see or understand yourself. Accepting who you are is even farther from it.

You are not taking responsibility for your role in the circumstances too. The people who went overseas took courses that you were not interested in. Your real interest was money. The purpose of this money is to have less difficulties and more peace of mind, right?

But what if you are also responsible for ruining your own peace of mind? With your habit of comparing to others, do you think you would have been happy even if say you became rich, went overseas and found a girl? The emptiness would still be there – you would think that you should have studied literature instead! What will you do with so much money! The comparision habit won’t stop.

99.99% of population has experienced what you havent – a very generalised statement again. A huge section of this world is living in utter poverty, persecution, in far worse state. The fact that you have the freedom to annonymously post your concerns here mean you have had some education, an access to internet – things we take for granted but many don’t even have those. Open the world bank figures and you will see what I mean.

Now let’s consider the sports thing – what bothered you then was having less talented people get appreciation while you don’t get it.

Again as you can see, your focus is extremely outside. Did you participate for your own enjoyment or simply to get praise?

You don’t feel good about yourself and that’s why you need others to praise you, you constantly look at others life to think how much is missing in your life.

But do you see that even you are responsible for how well you manage your own thoughts and emotions?

Love is something that isn’t happening. Your criteria is not being satisfied and you again start the compare game.

Stop comparing your life with others. Stop thinking so much about the past.

Please start finding out who you really are, what you actually want and how can you have a good relationship with yourself first. Your focus is way too much on outside.

Regards
Nina

Hey Prashanth..

Read your post. I just wanted to tell u first that you are not alone. There are people I know who are around your age who haven’t had a serious relationship. But they are more focused their happiness first. It’s ok not to be in a relationship, because sometimes you can learn so much when you are single than when you are in a relationship.

From whatever you have mentioned it only seems to me that u care way too much about what others think about u. That is the reason for not having enough fun. I made that mistake too, but it is never too late to have some fun. Life is supposed to be fun, do not take life too seriously. And always have some personal goals for yourself. It can be anything like wanting to write a book, starting a blog or sharing your natural gifts and talents with others on social media… or learn anything new that u always were interested in doing but never found the time to do like painting or singing or dancing.. There are so many things to do in life.

I hope that u could just turn your focus to things that are working well in your life instead of things that are not working that well. And one thing in particular that I would like to mention that failures u faced in the past have nothing to do with your future. Do not let your parents decide and dictate everything in your life. And do not blame them for anything because they gave you the very best they could afford. Be grateful to your parents for that and move on. You cannot always make everybody happy, your job is not pleasing others.

From the way you passionately described about what happened to you in school, it only shows that you still did not forgive and forget. Do not carry that sort of an emotional baggage from the past, it will not do you any good. And do not let past failures dictate your life. Remember nothing lasts forever, that includes your loneliness too.. I hope that you find your bliss.

Regards,
Kritika.

Dear Prashanth,

Thank you for sharing the mountain of evidence you have gathered that support the conclusion(s) you have made about life and of yourself. I’m sad for you, dear. These are sad stories. It’s okay to be sad about it.

However . . . would you like to come to another conclusion? YES!! Ha ha. Let’s get started. To come to another conclusion, then start gathering evidence that supports the conclusion you would prefer!! Write out the conclusion you want to come to about yourself, and then start writing down even the tiniest thing that happens that looks like it might be the tiniest evidence toward that conclusion.

Another thing you might enjoy . . . answer this question . . . how is it that you would like to bless the world? Would you like to help children, the hungry, animals? Is there some cause you care about? Or some kind of healing or service you care about? Begin taking steps to live that service life. You will soon be having a lot of fun and going to bed each night satisfied.

Thanks again for sharing, that took guts.
~Jennifer

Hey prashant I went through your post and I feel at this age this is something that happens with most of us and I believe it is happening because you’re low on self esteem and confidence.

What I would suggest is if you really want to live your life in a positive way, you should start reading some inspirations quotes about life on daily basis and also start meditation as doing this things will guide you and also provide clarity of thought.

Of course things will not change over night, but eventually you’ll see some positive results for sure and if you can read on meditation on the web there are many helpful guides.

You can follow this guide here http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/8-ways-to-make-meditation-easy-and-fun/ it wil help you.

Thanks and regard.

Manish Yadav

Dear A. Prashanth:

You are welcome. I appreciate your grace in responding to every respondent to your threads.

I wonder if the valid message in the emotions expressed in your original post on this thread is for you to apply courage and no longer limit yourself because of fear. If so, one little step at a time, do something every day (nothing is too-small to practice), toward more adventure, exploration, living outside-the-box of past.

anita