Dear JB:

Can you give more details about the “negativity, bad relationships, wrong decisions and continuous setbacks” in your life, those that changed you from hard working, confident, independent and successful to … unmotivated, not confident, dependent (on whom?) and not successful (how were you successful before and how are you not now?)

I can give you no advice without details…

anita

If I were to give you advice I would really be stealing words from others that I have heard them from. Napolean Hill “In his own words” or “Think and Grow rich” he is really a great motivational speaker, his story is fantastic, and it is like being kicked in the butt by someone. He is on Youtube as well if you go on there and search. Then the other is the “Power of Ambition” by Jim Rohn what he says is really good stuff.

Do you suffer from depression? It sounds like you may, if so seeing a doctor or therapist can maybe help you shed light on why you feel how you do. Not that doctors can cure everything but sometimes our brain chemicals get out of wack. Or if you don’t like doctors look at your diet and sleep quality, it is amazing how much people over look the most important aspects of being alive. Like someone complains of feeling like crap all the time, yet they are putting garbage in their bodies and not drinking enough H2O instead they drink coffee and sodas which give us little boost, but dehydrate thus a person is left feeling lethargic. They get caffeine through out the day and then a beer or wine with dinner to calm them down and help them sleep, they heard it was “healthy” so they think they are doing good. Not only that simple stuff, but the stuff in food is also the building blocks of everything in our bodies. Would you run a car without oil, trans fluid, brake fluid? How about with out windshield washer fluid? Sure the car runs fine, but if it is winter and there is salt on the roads good luck seeing. Headlights and taillights? Risk getting ticket or an accident. I think it is pretty obvious the car need to be operating smoothly together as a whole in order to be functional and be safe. Our bodies are like that times a million, because we can feel when something isn’t right. Our stomach doesn’t feel right because we ate the food we knew we shouldn’t. We didn’t get enough sleep because we wanted to stay up and watch a show. Our vision is blurry, but we hate glasses and can’t even think of putting contacts on our eyeballs. The list is endless of how little things affect how we feel. Some people are too scared to go to the doctor because they don’t want to hear something is wrong with them, or they are too macho usually its men, get over and go, get the blood work and find out if it is medically related. I don’t know if this is you, you weren’t that specific, but maybe?

It may be time for you to start over, you have lost the passion. Work takes up a lot of our life so if you are not happy with your work then you are not happy a third of most days, that becomes insufferable. Some people are easily bored if they stay at one place too long, so sometimes a change in scenery is good. What does it hurt to just see what else is out there?

Develop a philosophy of life. The stoics always hit a spot with me, because they emphasize not taking anything for granted. Enjoy things when they are good, but don’t be attached to those things and they even recommend mental exercises where you imagine yourself losing the things and people you love they think that it allows us to be more appreciative our time with them then. They are not pessimists as they may sound. The book “A guide to the Good Life” by William B. Irving is a good place to learn about it. Or go straight to the source and read up on Marcus Aurelius who was an emperor of Rome, Seneca, and Epictetus as well many others.

Hope I could be of some help,
Mike

Dear JB:

I think that you should not try to go back to the way you used to be: dedicated to your job, volunteered a lot, quite social, etc. It is time to examine your life, what happened and come to a new place in your mind that will be unlike what you used to be and unlike what you are right now. Changes have to be made to your core beliefs about who you are and what life should be for you.

You trusted untrustworthy people in the past? You no longer do, being withdrawn, believing the worst in people./ The new way would be a result of learning from your recent experiences and being very selective about who you trust,trust those who are worthy of it and not those who are not. And learning can be taking your time evaluating a person before deciding if they are worthy of trust and what kind of trust.

I am very familiar with binge eating and my improvement on this issue has been very slow but I am making much progress, now four years after my overeating of before took the bingeing route. Bingeing and other symptoms of distress, whatever their label is, mean that you are distressed and things are not okay in your life. CHANGES have to be made.Changes from attitudes to behaviors to probably, your job.

Can you afford a good psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Can you read about CBT from a clear, simple to understand source.. there is info on this very website on it. Write again, I hope.

anita

Dear JB:

You are very welcome. I appreciate your kind gratitude. Please post anytime on this thread or in a new one and I will respond.

anita