Mermaid,

The doubt is all very normal. Consider that you pulled up roots, both religious and social, and moved to a very different place. Getting to the present isn’t just about trying to “live now” but also “put down some roots”, nesting, so you have the inner confidence to be open. Make sure the place you’re living reflects your energy. Not a tourist in someone else’s life, city or house, make it yours. Paint it colors you find pleasing, make sure the walls and space echo “Mermaid”, feels “Mermaid-y”. You’re the same person, there or here, just don’t be afraid to bring home with you. That’s when you’ll feel safe enough to let go, be free.

Did you move in to his home or did you two find a new space together? If you moved in to his house, have a chat with him to let him know you need him to make some more space for you. Maybe take down some of the bachelor decorations, give it your female touch. It’ll be worth it for both of you. If you moved into the same space together, and feel you already imprinted yourself on your home, then look for other areas where you feel like a boarder,a tourist, and smile. Different than before, but there you are, making new friends and putting down roots. It takes time, doesn’t mean “wrong choice”, just “lots of changes, unsettling to the woman inside that needs to feel safe”. Even if he’s your soulmate, you’ll still have to take time to put down roots that aren’t just him. The food, the home, the parks, the shops… all different now. Not just “here in his town”, but “here in my town”. Over time the doubt will erode, the feeling of home spreading outward from you as you make it your own.

With warmth,
Matt

Mermaid,

Doubts are normal, usual, even in the best romances. It doesn’t mean the love isn’t true, it just means roots have been pulled up. Consider talking with him about your doubts, gently… the only real threat from doubt is the distance it places in your hearts. Span the gap, talk it out! Don’t be a tourist in your own life, and don’t be afraid to express your needs to your partner. How else will he know you? How else will you feel known?

With the clarity and strength after reading “The Power of Now”, yes also normal. A breath of fresh air inspires us, then we have some scrubbing to do. 🙂 Said differently, we often learn quickly, but grow slowly.

With warmth,
Matt