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It's Complicated.

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  • July 2, 2018 at 5:55 am #215095
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jane:

    I would like to understand better, therefore I ask: how did you know at the time, during that one night in June, that Trevor was a year older than you?

    Did you have contact with Trevor or Jenna (or the other guys present there) after that night and if so, what was or is the nature of the contact?

    anita

    July 2, 2018 at 2:13 pm #215173
    Jane
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I’m sorry that my writing wasn’t as clear as I had hoped it would be. I’m not the best at articulating my thoughts. I left out most of the details of the party because I didn’t think they were important, but during that night I was talking to most of the people there. They were sophomores going into their junior year for the most part (including Trevor). Jenna and I were freshman going into our sophomore year. I still talk to Jenna occasionally. She is a very sweet girl but we aren’t very close. I have never spoken to or seen the boys from the party after that night.

    I hope this clears thing up. I really appreciate you responding.

    July 2, 2018 at 2:31 pm #215181
    Mark
    Participant

    Jane,

    How long ago was that?  How old are you now?  It sounds like you were sexually assaulted.  Check out your local sexual assault resource center for advice and resources to deal with your trauma.  Depending what they advise you, you may want to get a therapist that specializes in sexual assault and PTSD.

    Mark

    July 2, 2018 at 4:22 pm #215193
    Jane
    Participant

    Mark,

    It was about two years ago. I turned 17 this past February.

    I probably should go to therapy; unfortunately I don’t currently have the funds. I’ve never thought of  looking into my local sexual assault resource center though. I’ll give that a try. Thank you.

    Jane

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by Jane.
    July 4, 2018 at 8:12 am #215385
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jane:

    Your original post is written so well, an attention grabbing story, talented writing. It is not a story that is spontaneously told, there is an editing and re-editing to the story, I am thinking, to produce such a perfect or almost perfect product.

    Two years ago, when you were fifteen, a girl, Jenna, invited you to a party. The party consisted of you, Jenna (two girls in total) and seven boys. At one point you were drunk and Jenna helped you stand up and she carried you to a bedroom where she lay you down and closed the door behind her. “Not even ten minutes went by before the door opened again” and Trevor was in.

    * I wonder how you know when drunk, lying on that bed, that “not even ten minutes went by”- when drunk you looked at the clock when Jenna left the bedroom and again when Trevor arrived? (I don’t trust one’s sense of time when drunk)

    In your second post you wrote that you still talk to Jenna occasionally and that she is “a very sweet girl”- did you not talk to her in the two years since about that night?

    anita

    July 4, 2018 at 8:06 pm #215465
    Jane
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    If I am being completely honest. when I said that “not even ten minutes went by” it is completely possible that I am wrong. It felt like less than 10 minutes. But it could have been longer.

    In my second post, I did mention that I still talk to Jenna. However, I never did talk to her about Trevor. Right after it happened I was so confused and upset that I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it with her, or anyone for that matter. As the months progressed I felt like there was no way to naturally bring it up in conversation. So, though I could have confided in her, I was so embarrassed and in my head that I felt I couldn’t.

    Jane

    July 5, 2018 at 5:26 am #215519
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jane:

    Best of course, is that you share this with a capable and empathetic therapist, in the context of safe therapy sessions.

    I think it is a good idea that you see a therapist or a counselor, perhaps one is available in or through your school. What you share with the counselor/ therapist must be confidential (make sure of it before you share). Ask the counselor all the questions you have.

    I hope you resolve in your mind what happened, that you understand what happened best you can, that you learn from it. Wishing you well.

    anita

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