Dear Z:

“My family takes up a lot of energy, particularly my mom who suffers from mental illness and just needs a lot of extra help. I’m often acting as her rock. I try to push her towards professional help but I can’t exactly force her.. I’m usually so drained… I have chronic depression.. it tends to consume me completely… I’m so tired all of the time that I can barely even sit up at my desk… I just want love. Not even necessarily romantic.. I fantasize about that a lot and it just makes me feel hollow”

In other words, my own words: you are not loved in your home but you are useful, you feel useful, needed. Feeling useful is not the same as feeling loved, but it is something, so you stay.

Problem is you are not helping your mother, she keeps her mental illness, whatever it is, and you … suffer from your own, chronic depression.

If you leave your home, if you leave your mother, she may get the professional help she needs and maybe get better. But most importantly, you may find the love you’ve needed for so long.

anita