From what you’re saying it sounds as if he is still very committed to you, and that his changes in behaviour are more than likely coming from the stress that you say he is dealing with outside of the relationship. To be honest, he probably needs you more than ever, but you of course have your needs as well, and if there is anything that makes you feel insecure and anxious, which there seems to be, it would be good to communicate that to your boyfriend.

If anxiety if a genuine problem for you, your boyfriend should be there to help you – you should not feel the need to hide it from him for fear of his reaction. Especially seeing as you seem to be very caring and thoughtful of his personal issues. Maybe easing him in to a conversation about it would be better?

I have a friend with anxiety and the way you write is actually very similar to her. She says painting helps her a lot. It might be advice you’ve heard a thousand times, but perhaps an activity that requires concentration but not much thinking would help ease your worries?

Dear Lola,

It is good that you have things that help you get your mind off things. The purpose of these though should be to calm you so that you can deal with the other issues more effectively.

Honest communication with your boyfriend about your anxiety issues after you are relatively calm could be what you can try. You will be able to better help him in his stress once you are calm yourself.

You mentioned feeling better after therapy and a day after that also. Look at things that have worked for you. Thoughts tend to go at a rapid pace during anxiety, slowing them down and crystallizing them by writing the thoughts can help in giving you direction.

Take care

Just for today, promise yourself that no matter how you feel, you will act like everything is fine. Say the things you would say if you were happy. Act like the relationship is perfect. Just for one day don’t let your anxiety rule your life. If you cannot say anything positive just don’t talk much. Just listen to him. Smile.

You need to get some positive experience behind you so you can break this chain of thinking he wants you out of his life. What you are feeling are your anxiety and stress and you are projecting it on to him and the relationship.

You need some time without your emotions running the show.

Act like you have the best relationship in the world. Be happy even if you don’t feel it. Small changes in our brain chemistry are very helpful.

Give your cares to God and ask Him to relieve you of your anxiety. Sit and just breathe. Push against this anxiety and try not to let it rule over you.

I hope you will get relief.

Lola, I just wrote you a detailed response and it went away when my internet went out for a sec. I will try again later hopefully. Just listen to your gut. Not your heart or your mind. Its that “feeling” you get about things. And ask yourself if you are getting what you need from him. Do his actions match his words? Do you feel valued and as a priority in his life?