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Is a crush more than a crush?

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  • #72170
    Brian Cyr
    Participant

    A week ago I went to my highschool’s “senior ball” with a girl I hardly know. I usually don’t go to these sort of things because I can never get a date, but my friend set me up with a junior that I didn’t end up meeting until a day before the ball. I had been texting her but when we were in person I froze up and couldn’t think of anything to say to her. The next day at the ball, it felt the same, we didn’t talk much and I froze up a few times. We danced (not holding hands or anything but “together” more or less) and by the time the night was over, it had happened too soon. I’ve been with people I’ve had crushes on but with her, I was actually sad when the night ended. Even though we hardly spoke I was sad to say good bye. A week after ball after texting her some I got the courage to tell her how I felt and she said that we should be friends first and see where it goes. I am very confused about my feelings right now. Most other girls I’ve tried to be with I was already friends with for awhile, but for some odd reason I feel more attracted to her than any other crush I’ve had. I don’t know if this is just another stupid crush I should let go or something more deep and meaningful. Any advice or similar experiences? Any help is appreciated!!!

    #72171
    Maggie Black
    Participant

    Meeting her for the first time… dancing, having fun (even if you couldn’t do much talking) 🙂 probably made things pretty intense and exciting.
    When you are already ‘friends”, some of the newness and attraction could be muted due to the nature of the friendship. If you have been friends, you may have seen the girl in different situations and so it isn’t the same as seeing a girl for the first or second time and knowing nothing about her. I think the excitement adds to the attraction.

    You may truly like this girl more than others.

    Don’t overthink this. The girl actually had some good advice. She said she wanted to be friends first and see where it goes.
    Even though you want more than this, she is telling you that she is willing to pursue the relationship further. She wants to get to know you better. I would take this as a very good sign!

    Now that you have told her how you feel, just step back and give her time to get to know you without feeling like you are pushy or want something from her. This will make you more attractive to her.

    Attraction is one part letting her know you find her attractive and like her, and one part stepping back and giving her space to feel the attraction to you.

    I know you probably know this, but acting needy, calling too much, texting too much and always telling her how you feel can make her attraction fade.

    Let her have some time to see you for the person you are.

    It sound like fun to me!!

    Oh.. you asked if you should let go for something more deep and meaningful.
    I am not sure I understand this question.
    How do you know what is deep and meaningful unless you give it a chance to develop into that?

    Give this a chance. If it is nothing but a friendship you haven’t lost anything. You are young. Get to know many girls so you can decide what kind of girl you want in life.
    Even though this is probably far from your mind now, life has a way of creeping up on us and we can end up with someone we never meant to be with.

    #72176
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi brehcyr,

    If she didn’t like you she could easily have said, “Let’s just be friends”. I think she’s interested in you because she said, “Let’s be friends first and see where it goes”. Yay!!

    I would go to the movies (no pressure) and invite her over with a couple other people to hang out. When the weather warms up, concerts in the park, fairs… Going to the mall… Oh, some girls love bookstores… For a lot of stores like Chipolte they have apps, so you can make a reservation from the app and just walk right in ~ that would impress her ~ the line’s out the door and you’re all, “They know me” and she’s now first in line. LOL!!

    Congratulations, you’re doing great!

    Inky

    #72237
    pink24
    Participant

    Hey Brehcyr,

    I think you’re doing awesome too! Girls hardly ever say what they don’t mean, and if she’s saying that she wants to be friends and let’s see where it goes, that means just that. She was probably just as nervous as you were at the dance! So glad you bit the bullet and told her how you felt. That shows you care and we girls def give points for that. Good for you! And yeah, don’t overthink it too much, just go for it! Ask her to the movies. That’s a great place to start. No pressure of coming up with conversation, yet you’re sitting close to each other, and it gives you something to talk about afterwards. A win-win!

    And, say this doesn’t work out (we want it to, but let’s just say) at the very least you’ll come out knowing how to date. And then it’ll be onto the next, you know?

    Good luck!!

    Pink

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by pink24.
    #72258
    Ashley Arcel
    Participant

    Hello,

    I read your story and it looks very interesting 🙂

    According to me, friendship is the first step to start a relationship. By being a friend you can take time to know a person before thinking of further steps. And friendship can be a base to all relationships. So she is right, that’s the better approach to start with.

    Good Luck!!

    Ashley

    #72280
    Brian Cyr
    Participant

    Thanks for all your help! It feels good to have some reassurance! 😀

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