Me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 3 years. we’re best friend , and have been for 6 years.
Very in love and I can’t be any happier than be with my best friend , but jealousy and insecurity does have its issues with us lately..

I’m very ashamed to admit this but It’s in my past.. A few months into our relationship I flirted with a guy once, and my boyfriend found out and he was very upset and even cried. The guy didn’t really mean anything to me, but at the time I felt as if my boyfriend liked another girl so in a way it was “payback” because I was jealous. WHICH , was not the good thing or smart thing to do.

It happened, we talked it out, we’ve gotten stronger.

but I feel like it’s affected his insecurity so much, and me being a “good looking, hot ” (to him) girl makes him very scared that guys hit on me or will try to take me away.
I love him with every little inch of my body. I don’t think of other men in such a way anymore because I’m so in love.. but he gets insecure.
and I get very jealous too, but I’ve recently overcame my jealousy and learned to trust his love.
I started meditating and reading on balancing my emotions so it helped me a lot/ I decided to turn my own life around (being anxious and depressed and insecure as well) and just aim to be happy.
Since I overcame it , we’ve been very happy.

He’s always had a problem with feeling secure when I hang out with my friends , because one time I had a few drinks with my close friends and hadn’t told him until the day after because I didn’t want to get him mad. We talked it through and got over it, but I know it still adds to his thoughts in the back of his head . We talked about just letting each other know where we were and who we were with and then I said “okay lets do that!” but after a while he started to say things like “you won’t tell me anyway”

I then began to not ignore my friends, but just hang out with them less so that he’s more comfortable.. my friends are also very busy so I don’t hang out with them much any way.
It was a big gap of probably 2 months.

Today my friend asked me if I would like to come over , so I did and I told my boyfriend. He said ” 🙁 whatever ” for some reason and replied with “why whatever ? I love you” because I didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t text me all day after that.
Later on in the night my friend’s boyfriend asked her if she wanted to go to the jacuzzi with him and his friends and she said yeah and after that she asked me. I wasn’t going to let her down plus I still wanted to hang out with her so I went.
When we got there there were 4 guys and a girl. All I did was smile at jokes and listen to stories and sit kind of alone. I had fun but I really didn’t know these people or felt like I fit in.
My boyfriend texted me right before I left the pool and asked me what I was doing , who I was with, and I told him exactly that. Then he didn’t reply for about 30 minutes so I figured I’d go to bed. I started filling out an application before I was going to sleep and then I get a text “are you home” and i said yes, he said “are you really home” , i said yes and sent him a picture of the application I was doing , and then he said “why aren’t you replying to me” which I was….
Then he called me and asked me the same questions and I told him just the same answers and exactly the truth. He then asked me who the guys were and I said ” I didn’t know them too well or their names but there were guys and a girl” and then he didn’t speak for a very long time when I was asking for him and saying “hello? ”
just to eventually hang up on me and turn off his phone.

It upsetted me so much.

So I sent him a very long text, stating how things happened and how I felt,

that I loved him very much and don’t think of those guys in such a way that I would want them, that I understand why he’s feeling the way he is, that I was worried about him , and that I’ve loved him for a really long time that I wouldn’t just waste our relationship away for just some other guys..

just so he’d knew and I’d stood him straight (I doubt I did but I tried)
If he dumps me over this, I’m going to be very sad. It’s not in my control and I’m trying to not be angry towards him.
I just want to get us over this jealousy thing because besides this , we’re very in love and have so much fun. I know I can’t control him and change and make him feel secure but I just try my best to inform him of my love .