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I'm stuck in this pattern

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  • October 16, 2017 at 3:29 pm #173467
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I have the most awesome person in my life.  But I have this pattern that is ruining everything. I’m afraid that I am making him sad and regretful that he started loving me.  When we go out if a woman says hello to him I feel threatened.  Last night we went out walking and everything was good but then this young woman said hello to him.  I automatically felt threatened and said something negative about that person. He said that I was acting pathetic and like a child, I dont’t know what to do. We are both the same age and I do feel threatened by younger women. They are slimmer, prettier and sexy than me.  And they only thing I have is that I love him and his family hugely.  I have never had such a loving and kind man.  This situation has occurred over and over, sometimes I can not let it interfere with us but there are days when I can’t beat it.  I feel selfish that he is with someone like me because I have this issue that I couldn’t possibly be enough for him to want to stay with me. I want to go out with him and feel confident that he is with me.  I’m scared he will not be there one day.

    October 17, 2017 at 3:15 am #173503
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Flossy,

    Is this the same man you have posted about that won’t be intimate with you for years? I have tried to offer advice, and now there are other problems, are you sure this is the right relationship for you? I think you need to reevaluate your relationship. I hope others will post with their insights. x

    October 17, 2017 at 4:51 am #173505
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Flossy73,

    Maybe if you went out with an older guy you wouldn’t have this feeling. Guys DO like to go for younger women (if they can get them.) So perhaps you’re picking up on that. Let me put it this way. A fifty year old guy would be lucky to have you if you’re forty, and he couldn’t even think of getting with a twenty year old. If you and your guy are forty, well, it has happened that a youthful forty year old could get a twenty something year old.

    Of course I’m being outrageously un-PC and general. Your particular guy is a unique individual. You should feel secure. But you don’t because you can’t see what’s in his mind and heart, you can only go by intuition, actions and what he tells you.

    What I would do is be the best looking and/or happiest woman of my age I can be. Don’t go overboard, but any thing that gives you a bit of confidence can help. A spritz of perfume. A new shade of lipstick. A hip new shirt. Anything that give you joy in and of itself. Then when an attractive middle aged guy looks at you your BF will be reminded of how good he’s got it!

    Best,

    Inky

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