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I'm scared for my 16 year old brother?

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  • September 11, 2019 at 11:15 am #311673
    Katie
    Participant

    My brother is 16 and when I was his age I was participating in really risky behaviors. I’m not even a risky person, but it’s normal for teenagers to do risky things like unprotected sex, drunk driving, drinking, smoking, etc. All of those things are really really bad for you and can even result in death. I am a very shy, reserved girl and I am not even close to my outgoing, social brother. I assume he will be subjected to a lot more unprotected sex, drunk driving, drinking, smoking, juuling, vaping, etc. than me. I’m really scared for him because people die every day from drunk driving. 6 people have died from juuling. I really hope my brother doesn’t do these things but when I ask he says no (he would never tell the truth). We aren’t close at all. I have this fear that my brother will get into a car with a drunk driver and die. Or he will juul every day and die as people have already. I know I participated in those things (unfortunately) when I was his age and thank god I ended up okay. I just understand that these things are inevitable. High schoolers will always be dumb and reckless. It’s a fact. I feel like there is nothing I can do to protect my brother from these things.

    • This topic was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Katie.
    September 11, 2019 at 11:54 am #311681
    Valora
    Participant

    Hi Katie, I get why you’re worried, because you care…. but your fears seem a little irrational/catastrophic. Just because some teenagers engage in these things definitely doesn’t mean they all do, whether they’re outgoing or not and whether you did or not. Every one is different. It’s just as likely that your brother will choose not to, especially if he has a good head on his shoulders and if he has a good group of friends… and even if he gets in with the wrong crowd, that doesn’t guarantee he will do what they do. Try to relax and, if he starts getting into trouble or acting differently, deal with it then, but don’t assume or fear that it will happen because it’s just as likely that it won’t and he will be fine.

    This might be more about you being worried about him doing the things you did, but he also may not.  If it helps, my older sisters definitely got into way more things than I ever did growing up.  And I hung out with kind of a bad crowd. haha

    September 11, 2019 at 5:51 pm #311713
    madison
    Participant

    Dear Katie,

    This is my first time doing something like this haha. I can really relate to your worries for your brother. I have a younger teenage brother who currently just transitioned into public school. He’s quite popular and I’m worried that he’ll make bad decisions but at the same time, if he decides to take that path, then I won’t stop him. You have to learn from your mistakes and if you won’t let your brother have the freedom most typical teens have nowadays, he won’t be able to understand your perspective in the future.  Like you, I also had a not-so-good phase, but I had to learn and prevent it from repeating. I’m sure your brother will do fine. If you try to prevent or control him too much, your brother might do those things as an act of defiance. You learned from your own experiences, and he should learn from his own too. Who knows, maybe he won’t do the things you did when you were his age?

     

     

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