Home→Forums→Relationships→I With New Guy But I Still Think About My Ex
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 9 months ago by Inky.
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March 27, 2018 at 9:17 am #199687Confused801Participant
I was with my first love (now ex) for over 5 years. I thought I was going to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. We have had our ups and down but we never broke up before this. Overall we have had more good times than bad. I moved in with him for a few months. Things started off well and I enjoyed living with him. Then I felt that I was doing over 85% of the housework, inside and outside. He say he would specifically clean something but weeks pass and he didn’t clean what he said he would. If he said it, I feel he should do what he says he will do. I was asking for more affection as well instead of him joking with me but I didn’t get the affection I asked for. We broke up because he wanted to live elsewhere (over a 5 hour plane ride) and I don’t want to leave my hometown and I feel we don’t communicate well to make the relationship last so we broke up.
Around the same time my manager (knowing I was recently in a relationship) was pushing for me to go to a show at work with a male, attractive, single coworker, while everyone else went with their spouses. I felt bad to say no to my manager because he wanted us to support (and pay) for the show at work and he is very persistent so I felt I had to go to the show. Well that started me and my coworker talking. He is a sweet guy and gave me attention and the communication was good and it made me feel good. I began to like him and we started seeing each other.Then my ex says he is wants to get back together. I thought about it and I was honestly so angry with him for wanted to move and leave me then changing his mind that I knew I would be a b**** to him for how he hurt me. I wasn’t ready to forgive him. Also, I felt he might resent me if he never got to move and live where he wanted. Also he doesn’t believe in marriage and I do believe in marriage. Thinking about whether to take back my ex I realized I didn’t like how much he drank, I want us to communicate more, and I want more affection from him and I want him to help clean more. The new guy doesn’t drink, communicates with me, shows me affection, cleans his house, and he believes in marriage. On social media (where my ex unfreinded me) my ex shared a meme “If we break up…forget all the cool stuff I showed you and go back to being lame.” I do feel that was directed at me. I worry that he is still too childish and just wants to drink and party and I’m ready to settle down.Now a few months later I’m just not happy. I overthink the situation. I don’t know whether to try to stay with the new guy or try to get back with my ex or just stay single for awhile. I keep thinking about my ex and worried that I’m going to make the wrong decision. I also don’t want to hurt the new guy because he didn’t know anything wrong. I also worry because the new guy is a different race and has a different culture and I worry about those differences. I know I jumped into something too soon with the new guy, and now I’m in this situation. Any advice would help.March 27, 2018 at 9:42 am #199697AnonymousGuestDear Riley:
Reads to me that best that you no longer have a romantic/ intimate relationship with the new guy and that you don’t go back to the ex boyfriend. Better not be involved with either one but be friends with the new guy and maybe start a friendship with the ex, maybe.
I didn’t read anything good regarding the relationship with your ex. I am sure there was, but what was it that was good about the relationship with him, for you?
anita
March 29, 2018 at 4:37 am #199909InkyParticipantHi Riley,
Unless the new guy’s culture is not great for women, I vote for being with the new guy!
Best,
Inky
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