I want a big positive change in my life,my nature,my activities::transformation

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This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by David Hayes.

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March 6, 2017 at 8:33 am #136139

chelsa
Participant

Hey everyone! I really have signed in to attain a big transformation.. I am tired of all the rubbish stuff that has been happening to me till now.. I really want to transform so that I can get good friends.. I really don’t understand why do I always fail in getting friends.. I am actually friendly..I always help them I always try to make the relationship strong But I eventually fail..I don’t know why..!! I don’t understand what flaws are in me that makes me loose it..after some time they start ignoring me..it is very hurting in fact I always have with them.. secondly I really want to become hard working.I am very lame.. I plan out things but I even start following jt but all this dot resists for a Long time.. I fail to motivate myself.!I have always been single..and now I really want things to change but I have become very negative with the past experiences I am scared that I would not be able to manage my relationship..may be I am somebody whom people don’t like for much time..but I swear I try hard to maintain my relationship..above this the time has come to get some job and I am not able to focus at all .. just not able to.. I really feel depressed.. I don’t feel like laughing even at the funniest thing.. even if I laugh it all fake.. although I am very smiley.. I am always smiling but I am not happy.. sometimes I feel extremely low and those becomes reo hard moments .. guys please help me..I need an urgent help.. I want to change myself..I want to laugh I want to have good friends just like others have I want to have a good job I want to change ..I need a big transformation …I am ready to follow anythings

March 6, 2017 at 8:46 am #136145

Anonymous
Guest

Dear chelsa:

The big positive transformation you are seeking is probably going to take the form of one little transformation at a time, a gradual transformation process requiring a lot of patience with the process.

Key sentence for me, in your share, is: “even if I laugh it all fake.. although I am very smiley.. ”

I would say, the first little transformative step would be to stop smiling when you dot feel like smiling.

Why do you smile when you don’t feel like smiling?

anita

March 7, 2017 at 4:17 am #136429
VJ
Participant
Hi chelsa,

If you are looking for a big transformation in all (or specific) areas of your life and willing to do anything then you can take a look at the below links.

http://www.dralexanderloyd.com/the-love-code/

Best wishes,

VJ
- This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by VJ.
March 7, 2017 at 6:36 am #136443

yongsua
Participant

This is soooooooooooo me! Smiley but unhappy and lack of true friends.

March 7, 2017 at 6:57 am #136541

yongsua
Participant

I am so lonely and I feel that life is boring. I would like to go out and meet new people but I just can’t handle the superficial and realistic side of human nature. I am always seeking for deep intimacy, it might sound needy and scary for people sometimes.

March 7, 2017 at 9:39 pm #137261

chelsa
Participant

Yeah and third is the worst thing because people assume you to be happy …but it’s you who knows the truth..

March 7, 2017 at 9:42 pm #137263
chelsa
Participant
That’s soo true youngsua.. I face the same thing..the pragmatic sense of human’s is probably difficult for me to handle..because I don’t really deal with relationships in this way.. I really attach myself with them..
- This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by chelsa.
March 7, 2017 at 9:47 pm #137267

chelsa
Participant

Thank you vj..!!

March 10, 2017 at 5:33 am #138699

Inky
Participant

Hi chelsa,

I know this reply is a few days late, so hopefully you will check in..

This feeling of “There’s something wrong with me but I don’t even know what it is”… I think this would be like a caveman having spinach in his teeth but mirrors haven’t been invented yet and he goes to a new tribe but the people view him as being “off” and he’s all, “Why??”

If what you say is true, go to the kindest, yet most truthful family member you know. Ask them. “What is it about me that could be seen as off-putting?” If it is indeed the fake smile, guess what, you can fix that!

For others it could be lack of fashion sense, or crazy eyebrows that are “off”.

Finally, it could just be the people in your environment.

Good Luck,

Inky

March 11, 2017 at 1:12 pm #139015

David Hayes
Participant

Chelsa,

I just arrived on these forums, so I hope this isn’t too late a reply. I’ve found that it is very hard for me to find a happy point in my life if the decisions I make are based on what I think other people feel I should be doing. When you spoke about smiling even when you didn’t feel like smiling, it made me feel as if you may be trying to predict what others you are with think you should be doing and then, well, you are doing that. Regardless of what you actually feel like doing (0r how you feel like acting, etc.).

It was a happy moment in my life when I felt like I’d nearly eradicated the word “should” from my life. It isn’t easy, nor am I always successful. The culture I live in here in the US is rife with the idea of doing what you “should” do, and many of us learned that kind of behavior at a very early age.

So, if you ever catch yourself contemplating what you feel others think you should be doing, I hope you will, instead, start thinking much more about what YOU think you should be doing.

Best of luck!

David
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