Dear Eses.tg:

I think you should let go and give up on a relationship with her, no longer trying to contact her in any way. What happened in this relationship as I understand it to be, is that you were not honest with her. You “became a nice guy” because of your “fear of losing her”, but you were not that nice guy you pretended to be.

In pretending to be a nice guy, you felt that you were “a nice guy who gives the power to his gf”, and that made you angry, to think that you gave her your power. And you expressed that anger at her. A mix of love and anger (and fear, of course) is what I see your experience to be, in the context of this relationship.

I think it is a good idea that you don’t pretend anything, not to be a nice guy and not to be a rude guy. Be an honest, fair guy, one who expresses his emotions in a straightforward, responsible way and respects the woman in your life to make her own choices. If she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, don’t pursue her.

If she wants to be in a relationship with you, be authentic and respectful, let her be who she is, as you are who you are, with her. Be assertive with her and respect her assertions.

anita