Similar to painful love addiction. I had personal crisis. I was at rock bottom. I started getting in religion. He was my mentor I met him at a Christmas party. He isn’t the best looking guy, he is overweight. He is also 13 years older than I am. He was into Buddhism too. After I my personal crisis, I was pretty much rock bottom, I just wanted a nice guy. And he fell for him at my most vulnerable. He was interested too. We messaged each other daily. Then we met for a dinner date. At the age of 28 I have never been on a date before. The date went badly because I talked about my affair briefly, I said all the wrong things. I still liked him and hoped there would be more dates but there weren’t. He still messaged me but not daily, maybe every second or third day or once a week. On March 17th, 2017, we met again and we had dinner and a movie, I pushed for a romantic movie but he wanted to watch Logan. That should have been a hint. He then rejected me. It hurt so much because I got attached to him deeply and quickly. They aren’t lying when they say “the depth of your love today, the depth of your wound tomorrow, be careful who you fall for, make sure its reciprocated”. He said he was about to establish a relationship with someone else. I felt so worthless that someone else was chosen over me. I cried. It hurt. He let me have a break, didn’t contact me for weeks to let me heal and get over it. This was a year ago. Truth is I never healed or got over it. I could never get over the rejection. He still messaged me and I was addicted, like a druggie. I would be so high when I got the messages then when he didn’t message me I would be depressed. We use to talk deep about religion, he would have the occasional flirt, but it was mostly friendly banter. I heard it didn’t work out for him and his girl. My best friends, my close friends, my therapist have all banned me from talking/messaging him. I was supposed to block him on whatsapp months ago. However I don’t want to let him go. I know its false hope. I hope that we would get together someday. However over the past year we have only met a total of 3 times  and towards the end of 2017 he did ask me to watch a movie, but it was a last minute invite and I had other plans already. I don’t want to block him, however he doesn’t message me that often anymore (since the year started 2018, before 2018, messages were more frequent, suddenly in 2018, messages were less), just once every 2 weeks. And the last message was on 5/03/2018, I replied two days later because I was busy. He hasn’t replied yet. He also wished me happy valentines day, but never asked me out. I was thinking about asking him out but I couldn’t handle another rejection. Today it is 14/03/2018. Instead of listening to my friends, I stopped initiating conversation all together. Maybe I should block him on 17/03/2018 the anniversary of him rejecting me. Since I am still in touch with him, the periods where he isn’t messaging me I get pangs of depression worst in the morning. This really has everything to do with me. I was abused as a child. He is 42 never been married, everyone says there is something wrong with him. This is a terrible love addiction.  Why is this a text message relationship? I wish we could be friends, but everyone tells me to let him go, to block him. I’m torn I do desperately want kids someday and I am 29 and the biological clock is ticking. I came here in desperation hoping someone will say something different.