Hi Esmeralda.

I understand what you are going through as my situation is pretty similar to yours.
I’ve been reading articles, asking advice from friends, travelling and getting myself busy but it’s annoying how there really is this one person who’s so difficult to detach myself from. Well, one big reason is, he’s still around. He’s still in my life. He may not be talking to me as much as before, but he still does come up once in a while. I know I should be strong enough to stay away from him after everything he has done to me, but I just can’t resist him at all.

And just like you, I also feel like sometimes I’m not worth more than what I’m getting from this person. That I’m only for hookups and temporary attention, never for love. And every time that happens, the pain doubles. I become more miserable.

I can’t emphasize enough that I want you, me and all the other people like us to be strong. It’s difficult and the universe may seem like it’s not helping sometimes, but we have to be strong. You had serious relationships before, right? I did too. I’ve had people love me before and I try to remind myself that sometimes. I was loved before. And I can be loved again.

This person with us right now is just not the right person. We have to tell us that ourselves over and over again. He can’t commit to us, he doesn’t value us the way we deserve to, he is not the one.

It makes me sad to find out that there are people who are also going through the same because this situation is very self-worth crushing and heartbreaking. If you need someone to talk to, I can be a friend who can listen. And you have this community. You’re not alone.

Let love be stronger than fear. We can get through this.

Sending you virtual hugs.

Hi Esmerelda,

I once read of a man who loved flowers so much, he plucked one, and held it in his palm to admire it. After a short while he didn’t want to let it go, so he clenched his fist tightly around the flower to keep it for himself, crushing the flower in order to retain the beauty for himself….

I also once read of a gardner who loved flowers so much, he created the environment for flowers to grow, and was surrounded by beauty all year……

Of these two men, whom would you choose to share your life with? Look past the words, and observe the action, as there is far more truth hidden in plain sight.

Best

Evan

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by Evan.