fbpx
Menu

I have feelings for another woman, should I tell her?

Home→Forums→Relationships→I have feelings for another woman, should I tell her?

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • June 18, 2019 at 7:10 am #299619
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kei:

    Yes, definitely better “to sort that out first”. You have two children, 11 and 13- a major factor to consider before you proceed.

    A friendship with this woman that you like at this point is a bad idea because you like her as more than a friend.

    When did you stop looking forward to go home to your wife, what happened before you stopped wanting to be in your wife’s company?

    anita

    June 18, 2019 at 7:54 pm #299735
    Mark
    Participant

    Kei,

    If you want to keep your marriage then work on it.  Love is a verb.  The feeling of love is when you two were going through the stars-in-the-eyes emotional feeling phase.  Now it’s work.  It’s a day-to-day conscious focus.  It’s like with your children.  There are days when they are little shits but you still love them.  You hug them.  You tuck them into bed.  You read them stories.  You go to their school activities.  It’s no different with your wife.  Love is active.

    You may crush on someone else.  That’s understandable.  We all have fantasies that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.  We can project onto another person that she is more exciting and more desirable.

    It’s your decision.  This is what being mature is all about.  It is knowing the difference between being infatuated with a fantasy versus wanting to do the sometimes hard work on a relationship.  Court your wife again.  Make a conscious effort to show/say that you love her.  Take time to be present with her, to really listen to her.  Give her a break from the children.  I assume that she is the primary caregiver.  Give her time for herself.  Support her with her dreams, her hobbies.   Have regular dates with her.

    Mark

    June 20, 2019 at 7:23 am #299963
    Zariah
    Participant

    Hello,

    I agree with what Mark is saying. Have you ever considered that the “beauty and adorableness” of this new woman can also fade after 14 years? There is no guarantee that it will also last forever and at that point what will you do. You will also have to tell your wife that this has been happening so she can make preparations for a divorce, to take a break, or to move forward. It is terrible to be blindsided by someone you trust and that pain can do more harm than good in the future. I believe before you pursue this new woman you must sort it out with your wife. This isn’t an internal struggle as it affects more than yourself. It is her right to know and move forward from there.

    Now, if you don’t want to tell her because you want to keep your wife as an option if the new woman doesn’t work out you should end the marriage now. Your wife isn’t an option, she is a person. She deserves to find someone that will give her the love she deserves through thick and thin.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.