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I fell in love with someone ,I might not be able to marry.

Homeā†’Forumsā†’Relationshipsā†’I fell in love with someone ,I might not be able to marry.

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • December 10, 2018 at 12:03 pm #268729
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear seeker:

    Welcome back!

    Your user name, seeker, reminds me of the sentence in the bible, “seek, and ye shallĀ  find”. You need a woman in your life, to love and be loved, toĀ  marry, I suppose, not? Well, seek and you shall find. It is not your first cousin, it hasĀ  to be someone else. Of all the women in India, there hasĀ  to be another woman who is understanding, sensitive, talkative, pretty with a pretty voice.

    You just haveĀ  to have the courage to seek her.

    What do you think?

    anita

    December 11, 2018 at 2:12 am #268813
    seeker
    Participant

    Given my past, I am really very afraid.

    December 11, 2018 at 5:07 am #268817
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi seeker,

    It happens to everyone. Long ago a guy fell for me… who turned out to be my second cousin!! Then only people freaking out were our extended family. (My dad had no problem with it!) So no guilt, OK? It happens.

    Forgive me if I’m totally mistaken, but do you have arranged marriages in your country? What do your parents say? Have someone else set you up or introduce you to people.

    I’ve fallen for shorter guys myself. And a scar just gives you character! View things that way.

    What you need is confidence. The worst thing that can happen is someone says no thank you. So what? That just means your life stays the same, and your life’s not so bad. But if (WHEN!) someone says yes, that’s just a new experience.

    Good Luck,

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
    December 11, 2018 at 5:45 am #268827
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear seeker:

    More than three years ago you wrote: “All my life, I have been teased and made fun of”, referring to your height of 5’3”. It is scary, the thought of being made fun of one more time, toĀ  be rejected one moreĀ  time.

    Some men are scared ofĀ  beingĀ  rejected for beingĀ  too tall, too intimidating looking. ThereĀ  is hardly a person who is satisfied with their looks. Even movie stars admired by many millionsĀ  for their looks, maybe they, especially, more thanĀ  other people, get distressed as they age andĀ  lose their youthful beauty.

    Probably all theĀ  women who rejected you, reject a part or parts of their own looks.

    You wrote in your recent post that you are scared. I understand. I am scared too. We are all scared. It just looks like others are not scared,Ā  whenĀ  they smile and look so carefree, but it is not true-

    we are all scared.

    Remember that when you areĀ  out and about, seeingĀ  other people, women- they areĀ  scared too. Knowing this, seeingĀ  this, may give you that bit of courage to finally have theĀ  relationship you always wanted.

    anita

    December 11, 2018 at 6:35 am #268837
    seeker
    Participant

    Hi Inky, Initially I used to feel guilty..but now I don’t. Somewhere I know , I am not wrong because I have fallen for someone I have even rarely met(only 2 times.). Usually, you will get the sibling feeling from cousin when you have spent too much time with them as siblings.All of our interactions happen over call. How can society and family expect me not to fall for someone, who I share such a great bonding with?

    Somewhere I do realizeĀ  that though society judges us based on our looks, I have diminished my chances by being too insecure about my height. In recent years , I have started interacting more with girls, and have come to know most of the girls are not as judgemental once they get to know you.

    Yes , Arranged marriage is quite prevalent in India. But the bad part of arranged marriage is, people first go for the looks. And yes , you are really true, that I have not even tried , as I was always too afraid of being rejected. My cousin was someone, who I could easily approach too. Besides, she is a very good human being and has always been very supportive. Whenever we talk, she gives those good vibes andĀ  is too proud of me and that gives me great confidence as she is someone who has accepted me completely even when I have never been able to do so. She has never been concerned about my insecurities and hose things never mattered to her.

    December 11, 2018 at 6:37 am #268841
    seeker
    Participant

    Thanks Anita for your kind words. Right, I need to work on how I feel about myself and keep trying.

    December 12, 2018 at 1:28 pm #269093
    NeoVizion
    Participant

    Retreat from seeking a relationship with a women, until you build a relationship with yourself.

    Only when you have gained self-love, self-appreciation, and self-confidence will you truly be ready to encounter and eventually marry the women of your dreams.

    Please, for your own mental and emotional safety, become complete in yourselfĀ  first. Become whole so that you don’t need a “half”.

    Seeker, remember that a relationship/marriage is only supposed to be an enhancement to a life of yours that is ALREADY awesome. If you seek a relationship, and enter one depending ONLY on that person for your mental and emotional happiness, as well as a sense of value for yourself, you will be setting yourself up for a major fail my friend.

    Complete yourself first…

    January 1, 2019 at 8:59 am #271887
    seeker
    Participant

    Thank you so much NeoVizion. Ā It is very true. Throughout my life I have looked for relationship to feel a sense of self worth. I have already started working on self love and self confidence.

    January 1, 2019 at 9:11 am #271897
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Happy New Year to you, seeker. Post anytime thisĀ  new year, hope it is a better year for you!

    anita

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